I don't live my life because I don't have a gf and need help

I wasny exactly sure where to post this so my apologies if its written in the wrong forum.
I'm relazing that for a majority of my life that Is that I don't live my life because I don't have a girl. let me break it down. I think part of the reason I keep relaping is due to this. I can go a week or two weeks and few days of being sober then I relapse. Im wanting to download dating apps because I want to meet women. I drink alcohol and blow my money in bars, eat like crap, don't go to the gym no more, play video games etc I can go on and on. I'm able to break the habit like I said for 1 or 3 weeks but then I go back into my old habits. it's like what's the point of taking care of myself and doing nofap if I don't have a women in my life or no prospects. I feel like I won't start living my life and taking care of myself UNTIL I get a girl.it's like I have my life on hold and I'm doing all these crap stuff to my body. I know this is a problem and I'm hoping I can get some feedback from others here. I'm 25 btw

 

I been through 2 destructive relationships one I'm still recovering from 3 years ago.I'm now trying to live my life for my sole benfit just don't know how to since all I knew was what I've already been doing
UOTE="Stand & Fight, post: 637456, member: 93584"]Maybe if you lived your life solely for your own benefit and betterment, you would find a girl and then have a healthy relationship with said girl, instead of the dependent relationship train wreck you're setting yourself up for in the future.

The simple conclusion is you don't stick with these things because you don't value yourself.[/QUOTE]

 

I used to attend coda meetings mostly phone meetings coda stands for codependents anonymous it's a 12 step like aa or saa or slaa I think it's time for me to start attending meetings again.
How's are you handling the breakup ??

 

Honestly man you need time to heal. I heard this in a podcast and I truly believe in it. when you break up with someone you need TIME AWAY FROM THEM. that means deleting them and blocking them on social media sites and also not contacting them and seeing them in person. because if you keep seeing her man your only going to keep hurting more and more. you should journal about the relationship also. what went right and what wentvwrong. journal about the good and the bad things you did and she did and also journal about yours and her part on why the relationship ended. the podcasts said at least 6 month away is what you need when a breakup happens you have to treat them like they are dead. I see how your situation is,different though because you and her kids have bonded which complicates things. all I can say is you need time to heal that needs to be your number one prioty. and you have to accept the fact that when your spending time with the kid that she may be with a guy etc. I wish I had the perfect advice for you but I don't. I would say that her and her child are a package deal that since the relationship is over that also means the relatanionship with the son to but that's me and I never been in that situation before. if you do though decide to move on and heal maybe down the road 6 months to a year from now you can start bonding with her kid again. because right now your still reeling from the breakup and it wouldn't be fare to the kid. breakups suck bro they really fucking do ....

 

Hopefully she talked to him and explained the situation in a way that shows that its,not there fault. as mother that's her job