Hi guys, I started my second reboot on Sunday. My first one was in March last year and it held for 81 days... And then it got so much worse. The usual stuff wasn't enough anymore. It got dirtier, harder, kinkier. It took hours to find the 'good stuff' which was satisfying only to get the kick. It just felt like a real drug addiction (I haven't experienced it but feels like it). At the end I even 'picked up a lantern' and went down the darknet to find new stuff. There's only a handful of categories I didn't try. After I was done I even felt sick most of the time. There was no real relief and a huge waste of time. I feel so disgusted by myself thinking about how I became such a pervert. [Insert the puke emoji here] Now I need to stop with this. I want my wife to be sexy for me, be my only star. I want to use my sparetime to learn programming, play videogames and read. Watch movies with my wife or just enjoying silence. Porn ruined my sexuality and my brain. I hope to get a good reboot now and stay clean. The 90 day counter on my smartphone goes down day by day. The reason for this thread is to give others how failed before some hope to try it again. I als failed horrible but now it's time for the next (and final) try. Greetings Mike PS: Can someone please leave a like so I can edit my signature again? I guess these conditions were implemented some time last year and now I need 1 like to be able to edit it again... Thanks!
signature doesn't work for me. I know, the same happened to me. After my first long streak of NoFap I binged like I never did before. I know that feel.
Hey man. Congratulations on the 81 days from the first try! That was a huge accomplishment. Getting back on track after a big streak is difficult. You feel unmotivated and frustrated. These feelings are all normal. You know that nofap is good for you. So get back on track. Be smart and learn from your mistakes!
And here I am again - on a new (and hopefully final) try. It's close to three years ago since I was here last time. And it got so much worse than describing it above. The categories got even more extreme just to get the kick. I cannot even understand why those clips even turn me on - one year ago I was quickly scrolling over those pictures, now I'm actively searching for them. It's simply disgusting and wrong on so many levels. My sex life is below the zero line. My wife is currently in a treatment because of her mental situation and it's partly (but not exclusively) my fault. She thinks about quitting our relationship because she doesn't feel I care about her or our sexual life. I need to get rid of porn or I'll lose the life I've built up the last 11 years. Together with the forum I'm also starting to search for professional help. I need to find out the reasons for the addiction and find a cure. If you read this and think "I'm ok, it's not that bad" let me warn you: It will be worse! You should stop when you can.
Don't delay that search for professional help. I will go to my grave regretting my not seeking help sooner. How stupid was I not to know I had a problem? Anyway, I commend you for making strong realizations. I am also in a marriage that has no sex life. How can it? I was jerking off to porn so much that I don't even know if I can ever get another erection for the rest of my life. But no matter what I will never, ever, go back to porn. I know you will be able to do the same. Even if you stumble, don't quit. I sincerely wish all the best for you and your wife.
