Every single time I try to talk to people I end up getting outcasted from every group like I'm some sort of disgusting, repulsive human being(especially with girls). It has been like that for ALL of my school years and I see no change over the horizon and I assume there was none to begin with. I am 16 years old, 6'3, sophomore year high school, and I have never dated. I wouldn't call myself ugly, but I'm not hot either. I have basically given up socially and buried my head so deep into computers and programming it has become my life. I have NO social life because I have given it all up because of my failure to make friends. I don't want women anymore. Relationships are long gone for me, can someone just give me advice on how to be treated better by people?
I had a similar life while going through grade school, I just couldn't find acceptance from any social group. I ended up associating with the wrong kinds of people, and we know how that goes. To make a long story short, eventually life slowed down and I had time to think about what I was doing with my life. Something that has helped me is to talk to strangers when I go out, and I've found that people are generally friendly for the most part (not that some people aren't). I like to strike up conversations with people whenever I go out for coffee or something like that. I know it doesn't seem very exciting but it will help improve your social skills, as well as your confidence. By the way, high school is full of cliques, so who cares if you're not getting the social validation that others might be getting right now, focus on YOUR future. You're still young, believe me, things will improve as you get older. - "It's silly to try to escape other people's faults. They are inescapable. Just try to escape your own." - "It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own." From "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius
At your age, High School is a really brutal place. I would suggest venturing out into other areas where you can mix with an older, more mature crowd. Try learning a musical instrument like guitar, or learning yoga with a community group, or perhaps a martial art, or maybe even a community art class of some type. The best way to make friends is to stop trying so hard. Just live life and friends will happen, and they happen most when people discover common interests. Be Strong My friend.
I tried to socialize with my colleagues but failed miserably. I would have lunch with them but would sit in silence and pretend to laugh at their jokes. Maybe you just haven't found the people with whom you get along well. I get along well with very very few people and it's all right. In high school since you can't avoid people maybe just have casual friendship with others. Also in friendship choose character over personality. I wouldn't want to be Mr Popular, i'd rather have one or two friends who i know wont laugh at me behind my back.
Man you are focusing on dark aspects of your life and you emit negativity. You are a beast and I am sure you will become successful programmer. Just take a piece of paper and write down everything you think should be fixed in your mind or be completely removed. Your life will end when you die until then you are living. I know it is difficult to change but it is worth...
There is no interest for me to have any friends or be a part of any group anymore though. If I cannot be treated better by people then so be it, whoever wants to be enemies, let them be my enemies. I am completely fine with being alone, for I barely feel emotion anymore.
Man I have one vision. Learn how to talk to computers in all 0's and 1's and then live completely alone. Making friends and having relationships are long gone. Series' of betrayel, disgusting people, and corrupt relationships have eliminated all emotion from me. I don't know what rehab or therapy will ever fix my mental state, but I honestly think that is impossible.
There are 7 Billion people on this planet who will define you in 7 Billion different ways. The only one that matters is the way that you define yourself Invictus By William Ernest Henley Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. Be Strong My friend.
Dude, I tried talking to every group. The coders' don't like me, the "cool" imbeciles' don't like me, nerds don't like me, athletes' don't like me. I just cannot see any future with people for me.
I am an old school guy from before social media. Not looking to have 'friends' on face book or needing everyone to 'like' me. Average people live in herds like sheep, but the eagle with vision soars alone. So now you have found a group of people who care about you. Welcome. I was an IT guy for over 25 years: programmer, web master, systems, mainframes, AIX, UNIX, SQL... Best years of my life. If you want to share about coding - let's do it. Be Strong My Friend.
I'm not sure how you can be treated better by people ... I deal with the same thing myself and I'm much older than you .... At 16 you are just a baby... focus on study right now. Go to college, grad school. Study fields of interest and those that pay well. Trust me your dream girls will follow you.
It took me many years to realize that life is about living, not socializing. Many people refer to 'the world' meaning 'the world of people', when the world is actually The World. It's very important to make the distinction, and start focusing on The World, rather than its burden of humans and their burdensome ways.
I don't trust women anymore. This is why I only live for God now. I will deny myself from any pleasure until death.
There are other sources of joy than women and/or sex. listening to soft music, watching a funny sitcom, a walk in the park, gardening, cooking, music, etc etc.
