Day 12, very strong anxiety hit me, I need someone to talk to

I can relate. Sometimes when I go get some food from dinner hall I also get anxiety,worry,get scared,face goes all red e.t.c and so you know what I do? I face it and just let it happen,Face your fears bro trust me. Go in there with full confidence each time and say to yourself "Fuck it" why? Because you're on day 12 and trust after day 15 anxiety does decrease. And you need to interact with people in class,make jokes,laugh your ass off with people in class, get to know people,be yourself. I did these things and my anxiety,fears of going places has decreased. Trust me you need to socialise 100%. MAYBE AFTER A 90 HARD MODE YOUR TRUE SELF WILL SHOW AND ALL THIS I DONT LIKE THIS,DONT LIKE THAT WILL FADE AWAY,YOU'LL TRANSFORM INTO A NEW YOU.

 

@steven968

I know that feeling you have eating alone, while surrounded by tables of happy people socializing together.

That didn't bother me in college, but in high school, the cafeteria was hell.

You and I seem to both be introverts.

I've always seen college parties as distasteful and sickening.

I see students out on the town here cruising bars Friday and Saturday night, and this looks like a total waste.

We prefer our own interests over shallow social events, and we relate more to our work than to people.

This is very constructive.

The important thing is that we relate to something and take pride and satisfaction in it.

At the same time, we wonder what is wrong with us.

We are different and excluded from all of the "happiness" that others share with one another.

Our work doesn't give complete fulfillment. Something big seems to be missing from our lives.

There is a major contradiction here that makes our suffering so much worse.

Being by ourselves works best. We can focus on what we believe is truly important.

However, an underlying longing for deep human connection remains, and this can be painful.

Forming relationships, both friendly and sexual, seems to just happen naturally for everyone else.

But, we don't know how to connect with people who will want to meet up for dinner.

Guys are always going on dates, and for decades, I've been home alone wondering, "How?"

I could not do these things, even if I decided that I really wanted to do them more than anything else.

"This must be because I am boring and/or ugly."

That is the seemingly obvious reason for our rejection and isolation.

However, looking in the mirror, you and I know that is not true!

This leaves us wondering "why" and feeling down. "What is wrong with me?"

Our studies and work are sure things.

They fill some of the void, but these come to an end about dinner time.

We are left out and wanting something more which seems unattainable.

That is why we are turning so often to porn and masturbation.

PMO gives us an artificial sense of the connections we lack in all other areas of our lives.

Porn addicts on this site--I being one--are not deranged perverts.

Men here have used porn to try to fill real human needs which the world leaves unsatisfied.

The problem is that porn does not satisfy, and it leaves the person even more isolated and alone.

More porn seems to be needed to fill that void, but this only results in addiction.

It is understandable why you are feeling so alone and down.

You are moving away from PMO here on this site, and without porn, you have nothing to even try and use to fill that inner emptiness.

Now you can only feel it.

Porn is a drug, and you don't have it any more to dull your pain.

You can't escape into the world of porn and have a wild time when you return from the dinning hall alone and others are going out to parties.

NoFap has taken all that away.

You are left with nothing but your own life to look at.

I have no great solution to offer you.

What I'm trying to say with all these words is simply, "I understand."