Howdy to everyone. I'm George and I decided to formally tackle the 90 day NF challenge. I will have about 45 days PMO / hard mode reboot, but my wife will be visiting from overseas after then and it will become a PM reboot. I've rebooted to varying degrees throughout my adult life, but I usually reset/slip/fall within a couple of months. Every time I look at porn and masturbate, I try to rationalize that it's natural and that I'm not really cheating on my wife, but after the dust settles, the shame and guilt show up in full force. I have discussed with my wife that I have struggled with porn and even YouTube/social media as triggers; she said that she could never compete with that and I know she would be heartbroken if she knew that I PMOd tonight. I get brain fog and socially awkward after I binge. My wife is my best friend and truly a dream come true. She deserves better and I want lasting freedom from a "drug" that sneaks into my life and then starts consuming my time, dignity, and potential as a man. Life is so short; I've already expended literally months of time consuming porn and phone sex...I don't want to waste any more of the gifts I have been granted (that is, a loving wife and family, intelligence and vivacity when I'm not in brain fog, etc). All the best to everyone here and thanks in advance to journeying with me. -George
George, Welcome to NoFap. What are your triggers? What's happening before the fog rolls in? Deleting all the P from your laptop and smartphone, including history and cookies are your first steps. Consider getting an accountability partner and creating a journal will allow others to cheer and encourage you through your journey, through this war with the enemy: PMO.
Thanks Hi DJ. Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. Likewise, all the best in your journey! Main triggers are the standard: increased stress, seeing an attractive woman -> lustful thoughts, wife not being home, someone else talking about P&M. Knowing is half the battle Cheers and best regards! -George
Guard your eyes. I know you can't walk looking at the ground but when you see an attractive woman, you don't have to to continue looking at her. Look at someone or something else. Keep a pic of your wife as a background to your phone, when you see an attractive woman, look down at your phone. People do it all of the time, so that won't draw attention to yourself. Instead of PMO, when stressed walk away from the stress for a moment. Remove yourself from your computer and put your smartphone down and go outside or to a place where you can calm down. If you can go to porn, you can go from P or wherever you M. Be aware of emotional self before you begin to read posts. At the slightest hint of a trigger, STOP reading! Go to another post or go to journals who typically don't post triggers or who alert of possible triggers in a given post. Have in mind things that are lust-killers and transition into those thoughts when lustful thoughts come to mind. An AP may be great for you.
DJ, Outstanding inputs. Thanks for taking the time to share. "Guard your eyes." Excellent advice that I've admittedly neglected. I think I first learned about that in the book "Every Man's Battle." Simple but effective. Thanks again for the share! -George
