Cold turkey or slowly backing away

Years ago, I quit drinking soda - particularly the really bad ones like Mt. Dew. And I did it by slowly backing off it. I'd have only 2 per week instead of 3 or 4. I'd even schedule when I would have one. Pretty soon, it got to the point where I really didn't even want one. I'd drink water or V8 instead. Now, I've gotten to the point where it isn't a problem and I'll even have one again once in a long while (like 2-3 per year at most probably). It wasn't cold turkey but it worked for me. What if a similar approach is taken with this? And by that I don't mean ever looking at hard-core P, I'm saying give yourself time to look at certain models or actresses you find attractive. Something not explicit. I'm thinking Sports Illustrated swimsuit sort of thing. Just give yourself a very small dose, something that isn't disgusting and fills you with shame. But just appreciating physical beauty. Just look at an image or a couple and then go back to what you're doing. Like, instead of a full Mt. Dew, you have a couple sips.

Now, maybe this only works for a certain kind here. But for me, when I've tried to go "cold turkey" before, I'm just constantly focusing on what I don't have. And the idea, of course, is to separate completely from even the SI swimsuit images…but I think those are better than the hardcore stuff. It even makes me appreciate sexuality more in a positive way. It's okay to appreciate physical beauty without being perverse or thinking of it in a pornographic, over-the-top, unrealistic way. Thoughts?

 

Exactly. Yesterday, for example, I scheduled time a couple times to look at an image or two - again, nothing hardcore and nothing really pornographic. Didn't do anything with it. It just gave me a slight fix and then I moved on with my day. Then, when I wanted to look more, I would just tell myself that I would again later and putting it off worked. It seemed to also keep more positive. But we'll see, I'm only a couple days into this approach. I'll keep updates about it.

I don't think it's a way of rationalizing as much as being realistic and true to myself. I've tried cold turkey. I always relapse then I feel bad because I really go for the hardcore stuff. If I do relapse again, I want it to be simple - it was just a picture of a model. That's it. It's much more natural. And if I go 14-15 days without any M and then do it that way, I'll look at it as a victory. I'm just wanting to reset what turns me on. Some people seem to need the 90 day cold turkey thing. More power to them. Maybe I will at some point but I think it will be more gradual.

 

Alright, just an update and something else I've found…first, I think my absence from NoFap the past handful of days has been a good thing. Definitely such a thing as being here too much or being too involved. The whole point of this process is to displace bad habits with good ones.

My strategy here I've talked about has been working mostly. But I'm not sure I can really even explain it and I'm not sure everyone could do it this way or should. I've gotten really close to the thing that's been causing issues for me - I've not been letting go and I'm seeing it for what it really is and that has nothing to do with sexuality and it's actually just a pretty ugly monster. But one that can be defeated, of course. All I know is I've found something that's worked for me so far. Very possible it won't in 2 weeks.

Oh, and the other thing I've been doing is writing strategies on note cards and keeping them near me. Lines about being grateful for what I have (imagining something I have now being gone, imagining how I would feel then appreciating it more - we have so much to be grateful for and we are so blind to it sometimes. Start with being able to see, touch, hear, whatever), listening to music, emergency time workouts I can go straight to, etc. Stuff like that. Best of luck to all.