What's goin' on guys....this may not be the most appropriate forum to post this on but I didn't really know where else to go and have to get all of this out, and could really use the help of anyone. A couple of years ago I had a sexual experience with a girl that was frightening. I couldn't get a boner. It just didn't happen. It was awkward, and as you could imagine, emasculating as hell. Over the next couple of years it continued to happen. I had one or two good sexual experiences but other then that it continued to perpetuate. 2 years ago I started dating a girl (the most serious girlfriend i've ever had), and our sex life was incredible. I have so much to offer in the bedroom, which is what really kills me about this whole situation. It took me a minute before I was comfortable enough with her to be over my past experiences, but once we got going there was no looking back. She'd look at me the wrong way and I'd have a stone cock for hours. Cut to the present, we've been broken up for 7 months now, and there have been plenty of opportunity to fuck hot girls. Really hot girls. Attracting women isn't a problem for me, quit the contrary, it's actually a gift that I have...I can easily seduce women to the point of sex, which is the tragic part about all of this. I stay away from women that want to fuck me. I'm terrified. Theres a girl that I really like right now, and she's fucking gorgeous. We've been hanging out and getting more and more serious, and have tired to have sex twice now and my cock was just absent man. Like I couldn't even feel it. Deader then dead. I'm at rock bottom. I don't want to waste my youth, when I should be having all kinds of sex, because I'm scared. I feel trapped. Am I gay? I don't want to be gay, i'm not even kind of attracted to men and I love women more then the world. I feel trapped in my own brain. I've cut out masturbation, porn, I've meditated on it all, tried to get my brain to be more in the moment...none of it works. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I don't know what to do...mostly just venting but could really use some support right now.
You'll get through this brother. One time I heard someone say that transitioning to a raw-food diet completely got rid of his ED.. Best of luck, and know that you are not alone..
When I'm by myself I have no problems getting erections. It's all mental man. 100%...I know that for a fact, which is actually the worst part because it makes me think there is nothing I can do to change it. I'm stuck in my head and I can't get out. I can't do this shit anymore man
don't listen to this raw food BS. yes it is all in your head you just get nervous. If you want you can go see a physician, say that lately you can't get it up. He might order a blood test as well as prescribe you boner pills. Now the function of the boner pills is only to kill your mental nervousness. Go out with the cute girl, pop a pill before it goes down and have a good time. Next time you should be good to go without a pill or with half a pill or whatever.
The other thing that can help is meditation. Usually, if you feel this is a mental thing, what may be happening is felt pressure coming from an internal dialogue "don't fuck this up" "this happens every time" "come on, just keep hard"... All of this can lead to the fight-flight response thereby inhibiting the erection reaction.. The key is to stay calm, relaxed and loving with yourself and your partner.. Bringing your full attention back to your breath for example can channel your focus back to a place which will allow yourself to be present and stress free.. The erection will follow (but don't think about it too much ;-)) Also, we're not bringing our attention back to the breath for the sake of attaining a boner, this is an essential point. We're bringing our attention back to our breath for the simple enjoyment of being alive and present.. A natural by-product of that is an erection in the midst of a sexual encounter. Hope this helps
Don't trust your senses while under the influence of PMO. Try talking to people more, not seducing, not having sex with, just talking, with no interest for yourself but put focus on them. In time, things will be more clear and focused. Don't put such a high emphasis on sexual acts that you lose the purpose of sexuality: fulfilling and healthy relationships. Hang in there! I'm married and I've experienced slight ED. It just takes some re-adjusting of the mind and getting away from PMO.
The same docs may tell you to look at porn and masturbate more. Sadly, you may find better information online regarding PMO and ED.
no. No doc will tell you fapping and porn is a cure for ED. They might ask him if he can get it up to porn when he faps but thats it. hes just nervous is all but it wouldnt hurt him to get his blood levels checked
Okay, this may sound crazy, but... Maybe your dick is trying to tell you something. Something that's just under the surface, that you're not consciously aware of yet. Is it the right time? With THIS girl? It could be just nerves; maybe you're more concerned about impressing her than you thought you were. Or it could be something about her, something about you or your feelings, or something about the dynamic between you two as it has developed so far, that should give you pause, if you only noticed it. Take time out to think about it. But don't think in terms of, "Oh dear, what could be wrong with my cock?" Think about it in terms of, "What could my body be trying to tell me?" Tackling that sticky question could give you wisdom beyond your years. Look, if you're under 30 and male (sorry) it's a safe bet that you're not as in touch with your feelings as you think you are. Your instincts for people are not finely honed yet. (That you have a talent for bringing girls to the point of sex supports this, as seduction requires selective focus on getting laid, which means setting aside a million other things that you're learning about a person from their every gesture, extraneous things that don't move you toward sex. Generally, it's easier to ignore a baseline signal when it's weaker.) Maybe, just maybe, "sport" sex is not for you. Fun, recreational sex with a girl you're in love with? Sure. But sealing the deal with lots of hot girls just because that's what you're supposed to do at your age? Maybe not. I could be wrong, of course. Just throwing this out there. At any rate, you can still be quite manly and successful while insisting on a quality relationship before fucking. Not every girl who's a perfect '10' on the outside is going to be a safe person to associate with! So you could save yourself untold tragedy by being extremely picky and trusting your gut (or trusting whatever body part of yours turns out to be most sensitive to potential danger). Please don't worry about wasting your youth. If you get your youth right, you set yourself up for tons of fun in middle age and beyond. You get a good thing going with someone special, and the sex gets better and better, even as your bodies get more and more gross-looking to younger folk. Hope this helps. Hang in there!
A lot of what this says speaks to me. While seduction is a piece of my life i've recently added, rest assured i've always been very in touch with my feelings, and my body. I was born that way...seduction was something I gained later in life, through trial and error...but you're right. I feel like it's just not for me. A lot of my very close friends are high up in the PUA (pick up artist) community here in Los Angeles, a handful of them actually make a living off of it...so thats always pushed me in the direction of seduction for sex...but i'm much more the slow relationship kinda guy. What's weird about what you said is....my last girlfriend (previously mentioned in my first post) is that this is how we worked. After our first date we spent 10 hours a day together for 3 weeks before we had sex. Some nights we would lay naked with each other and just stare each other in the eyes. When it finally happened it just worked out. I was there with her, and I was comfortable. I had her full support...there was nothing to prove to her...and no coincidence the sex was insane...always. All of this may very well be true and I guess is just something I'll have to accept about myself. That I'm not really into sex for sex. I'm into something deeper. I guess that's okay, and I've never really let it be. The hard part is i'm going to have to express this to the new girl I'm hanging out with. It's a weird dynamic. We'll hang out for a few days in a row and then won't for like a week. She definitely likes me a lot and I adore her as well, but I think she's a little perplexed as to why I haven't fucked her yet. I've gotten her off a bunch of times fingering and eating her out, but the last time we hung out I could feel her confusion as to why I didn't have a boner and wasn't fucking the shit out of her. I'll have to find a way to get all of this across to her, in hopes that it doesn't freak her out. I don't know. Who knows. I appreciate everyones support...it means a lot.
