anyone suffer from ocd?

I'm not sure if it is OCD but I suffer from OCD. google search "ocd rc psych" and look at the symptoms listed.

please get professional help if this is really bothering you or causing you distress. i left it too late. no shame in getting mental health help!

 

It isn't caught from PMO, but PMO certainly would not help make it better. That could really be a bad combination, piling guilt on top of guilt.

 

It sounds more like BDD
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/body-dysmorphia/Pages/Introduction.aspx

 

BDD - my curse, my salvation, the story of my life.

 

Yes and no. I dont suffer primary effects (for example looking in the mirror) anymore but I suffer from secondary effects that you have not yet probably realized, because it takes time (years) to develop them. This are much harder to get rid of.
It starts that you look in the mirror and you are not happy how you look, sometimes you might be happy for example you if you have have special haircut or similar. It always starts that at first you dont know what is wrong with you but later you start to realize exact defects in your face and more you do it the better you are in it and suddenly you realize that when you also look at somebody else you dont see the beauty the same way as before as a whole package but you immediately realize exact separate features (weak or strong) because you are trained to do it.
That is a secondary effect. I now see defects (and also strong features) in every face. And I mean every. Even for example highest earning male supermodel David Gandy (who I consider as most handsome man) or actor Brad Pitt (also often considered as most handsome man) have also lot of defects. But dont understand me wrong: those are not imaginary defects they are really there in their face, but normal human behaviour is not to realize them. Lets look at Brad Pitt example so you can understand:


For vast majority people he looks handsome, but when I look and in fraction of seconds I see defects even from the first picture. For example his ears. Look on the below picture where it is very easy to see. His ears are not symetrical, the left one (from his perspective) is okey but his right one is set back too much in the middle part of ear and it is slightly stick out in upper part of ear and so on.

As I said I see it in every stranger in fraction of second instead of looking at beauty as whole.
Now for example I simply cant date ugly (read average) woman, because there on the date there is on my mind gosh her cheekbones are underdeveloped, forehead has too big sinus, ears are in bad relation to cheek bones, weak jaw and so on. As a result even if I like woman's personality but she is average looking I simply cannot date her. That is another secondary effect and so on.
So this is how BDD will develop if not treated or dealt with.