Is it ok to get head while on NoFap

In the end, you have to decide this for yourself.

Personally, I can hardly imagine ever having sex outside of a serious relationship again. I feel that it will eat me up from the inside.

Other people are out there to get laid.

Sex should feel good. That's it. Will it feel good or will it "eat you up" as I feel about it?

 

It is up to you. But if you do hard mode, you won't get the chaser effect after you cum and your reboot will finish quicker.

 

The shortest answer...."Only you can know"

This depends on what you are trying to solve for in NoFap. While many possible reason might have brought you here, Its my opinion that only two will bring the most real results. Those are (restoring impulse control while building confidence), and (regaining sensitivity so that I may better feel with my partner, and devote myself to that connection). Perhaps you are here, because you don't want either to become an issue. (Perhaps it's a combination of both).

If you are here for impulse control issues, then the answer is still yours to provide. Did you do this out of care and want to be with a person? Or did you do this, because it was offered, and you felt starved from your reboot? What where you thinking about when you do get head? (In short, if you are doing this to connect with a real person out of care for them, yes you can engage, however, be aware that you need to actively try to not be allowing your mind to wonder to porn scenes, or remembered erotic. (Also, if your issue is mixed with sensitivity issues, then you won't be as successful). You should as well consider how your reboot is going. Are you finding it easy/challenging/or impossible? If it seems impossible, then engaging another human being is probably just an attempt to address your impulse issue through another channel (and may cause emotional harm to that person in the long run).

If you are here for 'sensitivity issues' (PIED/Delayed Ejaculation/Premature Ejaculation/low libido), there are still questions to ask yourself. First, how long has this been an issue. How serious do you consider that issue? And again, are you motivated for the sexual activity in connecting with a partner, and strengthen your relationship? If this is a serious issue, and you have never tried a reboot before of any length, it's best to abstain as long as you can to give yourself the best chance to know what the results will be. (In truth, many young men here have found, that waiting awhile and directing their energy into their partner without sex as primary motivation, that it 'just worked', and found that no issues were present. However, if you've done a reboot for awhile (several weeks), know this is a long standing issue, and still motivated to strengthen your relationship, then you may consider resuming intimacy (with open communication about the issues). (If you have an impulse issue as defined above, then you have to follow that as guidance as well.) The truth in long standing issues, is that 90 days doesn't represent a magic number to health. It's just a goal designed to allow you to understand the nature of your problem. If your issue has roots in emotional stress, communication issues, poor physical condition, or other complications, then while you may see progress, and it may require engaging in a greater range of efforts beyond noFap for greater periods of time. (One method of that would be to actively trying to strengthen the relationship with your partner, through communication and intimacy). If you are truly doing this to connect with your partner, and you know you have an issue, realize that it doesn't matter how you finish the session, but instead how you spent the time together. Don't let the outcome drive feelings drive you to frustration/failure/or emptiness, and set the expectation to only enjoying the closeness and attention that you are receiving. If you're partner doesn't get the outcome they were wanting, it's also important to successfully communicate that it isn't their value or quality that drove this, and that you feel satisfied. (Realize that their self worth is at play here too). It's important in that case to not let either of you project the need on the other 'to fix it', but instead learn to be confident in being pleasurable with each other without a defined goal. (Unfortunately, often this is just too ingrained of a learned self worth)


Again, that is a lot of information to not give you a direct answer. But truthfully, only you can answer this, and it requires you to have very strong honesty with yourself, and a strong sense of your partner. If you don't know, and don't think you will harm anyone, and willing to be honest with yourself, then try it and find out. It's important to remember even while doing Nofap that for most 'sex is good', 'sex is healthy', 'sex is happy'. Things that connect you 'good'. Things that isolate you 'bad'. Also, sometimes in life it can be helpful to do the wrong thing just to confirm it's wrong. Just be prepared if there are consequences, to own it, and be willing to realize that no matter what happens, you still have ability to change, reset, and try again. You never truly fail, unless you 'give up'. Often its the struggle to improve is what enhances us, and truly teaches us who we are.

 

I'll be brief, and quote something from https://www.NoFap.com/about/:

"Rebooting is a personal process with no single correct approach. We challenge our users to abstain from pornography, masturbation, or even sex altogether for a period of time.."​

There are no externally-imposed rules. As others have pointed out, this is your journey. You define the bounds, you hold yourself accountable. No-one else is there to judge you, no-one can tell you how to go about it.

You do some introspection, and I'm sure you'll figure out what's best for you. None of us can, or will, put shackles on you! All the best on your path, keep taking those careful steps

 

I got head while on NoFap and I did not reset the counter. I don't know if I did it right.

 

Don't forget to live and not completely detach from reality.

From my perspective, if it's in the physical world, and not digital and fantasy or pixelated, then you are potentially one step closer to realising that you should quit PMO altogether in your life.

Good for you!