A month of no PMO

I've noticed for a while now that I never really liked watching porn, but I just couldn't say "no". There was always this sense that sex should be sensual and porn was anything but that. Your head is always in a tumult whether what your watching is actually what you like or not. Yes, granted that at the very moment of watching porn there was a sense of ecstasy which would quickly fade away to despondency.

Getting intimate with a person was an agonizing affair because all you have in your vocabulary are the words uttered in the porn movies. Not to mention your expectations that things will unfurl just like in a porn movie and truth can't be farther than that. No hot woman is going to walk up to you and say, "Hey, come back to my place I'm going to give you the time of your life". Like hell that's happening. It's just farce, the whole thing porn has led me to believe and expect.

I think my self confidence has taken a real good beating and I am completely shorn of it, at this moment. I was always shy but at least I could have some conversation with the opposite sex. Now, all I think is how would I like to do them and give to them hard? Obviously they're more than just some object of sex and this is why I decided that i needed to end watching porn.

Today, I'm going to start with a one month no PMO. Let's hope for the best!