Day 34. It has been a pretty rough past 1.5 week which is why I haven't posted as often as I did in the past. I have quite a lot of things to stay on top of in school and on top of that I've just been hella tired and lost my spark. I don't know why this is but it feels very much like a flatline emotionally. I am just really hoping it passes, because I have very little energy to do anything in school or gym. And maybe it has something to do with me going to the gym slightly less often. The past two weeks I've gone 3 times a week while I used to push for 4 times a week at least. I really don't know the cause but I certainly feel a dip in motivation for everything in life at the moment and it feels like shit. I want to post something on the success stories forum but I'm not at all happy with what I've written so far, so it'll probably take a while. Peace out. PS: Had my 4th wet dream last night.
Enjoying your thread. You have been working hard and it is paying off. After a few weeks of strong urges on NoFap, it is common to enter into a flatline stage, as your body adapts to no dopamine rushes and begins to produce and self regulate normal hormones. If you are in flatline, you will enjoy a few weeks, or longer, of no sexual urges. You probably will want to panic, as you worry about being broken. You were broken, and it was worse than you admitted, but this is the healing process. Flatline works best when it is ignored and allowed to progress at its own rate and in its own way. It is like any deep wound; do not touch it, do not play with the scab or stitches, let it heal. You can't see what is happening inside, you just trust the process until you are surprised with how well it has healed. The best thing you can do is live well: eat well, exercise, sleep well, and socialize, socialize, socialize. Due to the lack of sexual drive, socializing is hard to start, but once you force yourself into it, it flows more easily now. You can play like in kindergarten, when you enjoyed being with others, doing new things and learning, all without any thought of what they might be like in bed. If you socialize more now, you can begin to develop skills and relationships that will serve you well as you come out of flatline.
Thanks a lot for the kind words and knowledge, really appreciate it! You are right, I really don't feel like socialising that much or working out, or even eating as I used to. But I'll take your word for it that it passes and I'll just have to push through it and not fold.
In this stage, it is not easy to get motivated to do any of what would help. It sort of feels like an attack of total inertia that resists all change. It would be awesome if you were currently doing everything right already, but you probably aren't. Do not stress out over making big changes. Stay cool. Healing happens. You can help it, and you can complicate it, but we heal naturally. Just don't fold.
I've listened to my fair share of motivational speeches by successful people and today has been no different. One of the things that stood out however was when Tony Robbins said, "If you're only happy when people act or behave a certain way you're not going to be happy very much". It really stood out for me because I've realised this exact thing with where I am right now. I have been immensely frustrated with how people act and behave because I just can't understand why, which further coalesces with the alleged statistic (mentioned by Gary V in one of his talks) that 85% of decisions made by people are irrational. And that most people are so caught up in the short term, while success only happens when you're occupied with the long term gains and goals. Enjoy the process of learning, growing and executing and the success will come sure enough if you're patient. It applies to all of life. For me it has proven to be quite important also to constantly reflect at where I am and what I am doing, and what purpose it's all serving. Because first of all, even if you're doing all the right things and making progress you won't realise it until you stop, look and appreciate. You might even lose motivation in what you're doing if you're not acknowledging your own improvements. I believe reflection a big stepping stone for success because if you reflect and are able to do it well, you can become your own biggest supporter as well as your biggest critic and you won't have to rely on others to tell you what to do. It'll eliminate the worries you have about what people think. Furthermore, if you just keep going down a road that really doesn't align with your own values and beliefs you won't realise it until you stop and think. Like, most of us just go to school that can land us a job, get a family and buy a house because society expects it of us. We never question it, but rather go along with it. And then decades later when we've settled down we look around and see that we never actually wanted any of it in the first place.
After 37 days of Nofap I MO'ed. I look at the challenge as a whole as successful. I achieved my goal of 30 days and now I'm shooting for 60. I'm headed to the gym now, so will have to reflect on this later. Peace.
Mr. Greek, have you thought about how this could apply to PMO and intercourse? There might be more to "incompatibility" than not getting what you want when you want it. If expecting them to behave the way we want is unreasonable, then we can't expect them to give us what we want. What do we do?
I've been thinking of your question since yesterday and the only answer I can come up with is to to not expect anything from anyone. Don't have any expectations and you will always be positively surprised. I've often found that if you go out with the mindset of trying to find someone to have sex with it will often not come to you, whilst if you don't you have an easier time connecting with people. It is easier said than done obviously but that is the frame of mind you'd have to come from.
I've just come back from a night out with the guys and I just don't feel as happy as I've felt before. And I feel like a big part of that is because I don't have a girl in my life. I'm not gonna lie, most of the night is spent on trying to find a girl that I find worthwhile, and sometimes even if I find one I don't pursue it. Let me explain. Like tonight, there were 4 girls at the pre-party who were a blast and one or two of them were worth pursuing. But instead of going with them to the club I stayed and waited for the guys to get ready, which was just a waste of time. Instead I should have just gone with the girls, because I feel like I connected with them better. But I didn't because at one hand I felt like, "I'm with the guys, I can't ditch them" and "The girls are alright, but maybe there are better/hotter ones at the club". Such a fucked up mindset. I'm not saying I would have hooked up with the girls I met at the pre-party, but the probability would surely have been a lot higher!
I think that the happier that you are, happy with who you are, with how you feel, and with what you are doing, the quicker you will find yourself happily surprised with girls. Your happy has to be something in you that you take with you to the party. It can't wait for or depend on the girls that you find at the party. There is something to be said for, "Enjoy the one you're with," especially when you are alone. If you aren't happy with yourself, if your happiness depends on what you find at the party, how can you hope that somebody else will be happy with you? They are looking for happy also. With excess happy, you can give them some. If they are also happy before they meet you, then it can be awesome. When sex is about getting, it does not work for long. When it is about giving and sharing it works for years, and years, and years.
Right now, nothing really excites me or matters to me at all. It has gotten worse these past weeks, I thought at first it was a flatline but wouldn't that disappear as I MO'ed? Whatever it is I just feel super depressed. I've been here before, but I just need a way to deal with it because I'm way too much in my head. That is very true. And the key to happiness is the question everyone is trying to answer isn't it? I, for one, can't really answer that at the moment. Where do you, if you know, find your own sense of happiness?
Been a while since I last wrote. And since that time I've M'ed one time (no O) as well as having had sex (2 O's in one night). The first time I came during sex this time around it actually hurt. Like no joke, I've never experienced something like that before. I usually do experience a greater orgasm with a girl (which is kind of natural), but this time I think the lack of orgasms for an extended period caused me to cum so hard it hurt. Luckily the pain subsided and didn't appear the second time around. I think I'll leave this thread as it is now, might start up a new thread soon. Thanks a lot for the comments and kind words you guys have left me, talk soon!
