What's up guys! The viscous cycle is what keeps us relapsing, it starts with: 1. Urge and temptations trigger you from all directions, this usually happens after 1-2 weeks of nofap. 2. You rationalize and make silly and vague excuses just to feel the dopamine rush in your brain. You start to trust the "flesh" and think you can handle it. 3. You start to binge and it often starts with some pics, then videos and then porn of any kind. It escalates rapidly. 4. You feel shameful, demoralized, hopeless and like a piece of shit and then you make new promises that your'e never gonna fap again, and the next week or day you fap The thing is that we keep this to OURSELVES, that's why it's so shameful. I know for a fact that the key to freedom is admitting and confessing your problems, whether it's an addiction to pornography or masturbation. The first BIG step is to speak to someone about it. Keeping it in for yourself is not a solution and it will damage you for YEARS. I was in the cycle for 2 damn years since I was 15 and now 17. My advice to you is to speak to anyone, whether you are 14, 39 or 48. Confessing your sins is going to ease of pain from your shoulders and even if you are not religious, going to a Church is extremely helpful. I hope this helps.
Agreed. Confessing is powerful, regardless of any faith or religion. Many times, a big part of bad habits or addictions is the secrecy and lies which are sometimes involved. Unburdening oneself of the secrets and deceit can have a very positive and profound effect, most of the time. When we confess, we express a sense of responsibility. When we choose to take responsibility over our actions, we are in fact choosing to acknowledge our frailty and shortcomings. This paves the way for future growth and development.
You nailed it. Confessing opposes the addiction itself. It makes us unsocial and deprived whilst confessing counteracts it by opening us. I also think that speaking 1on1 in "real life" is much more effective as you fight shame and discomfort. Together we are stronger, good luck m8
True. After I finally manned up the courage to confess a few times, went to a therapist, relapsed once and now I'm 3 weeks hard mode 100% I got to the root cause of my depression. The porn addiction was an escape.
Yes exactly, many use it to escape reality. I will also come in contact with a priest and counsellor this weekend to address the problem. Stay Strong m8
I talked about my sex and porn addiction the first time to a priest when I was 22. Thanks to him I understood I had addictions and I needed help. My parents when I had been upfront they had no clue that I was suffering from that. Probably I just told them about my porn adddiction. I have never liked talking about my sex life or sexting Then when I was 23 I was at a the house party. Everybody left and I was talking with the guy that lived in that flat. I had smoked a lot of weed and started playing a guitar that was in the living room. I was very high and drunk. Basically in the middle of the conversation I admitted to him (he was an aquantaince) that I watched porn. He answered that he did not believe me and to show me if I was honest. I did it. In 1 second I typed the website I used to go on. Then he realized I didn't lie. I fell asleep on the couch there, asking him to stay there because I was too intoxicated to go to my house. He tried to make a move on me but he didn't touch me when I showed I didn't want to. Next morning when I woke up we had a very awkward goodbye. I just felt so ashamed because I remember even with my blurred memory that he saw the website. So I ran out of his flat quickly. We never spoke to each other ever again. In some ways I felt he didn't appreciate seeing that from a girl and he didn't want to have nothing to do with a person as me. I confessed to another priest my sex and porn addictions. I tried to hide my disgust when he said it was fine as long as i wasnt't watching VIOLENT porn. Porn is always violent. Doesn't matter if it looks the most "ROMANTIC" it's always violent. I went there for help and I felt more lonely than before. Only God made me bear all this situation I mentioned to an ex at 24 that I had a porn addiction. I was tired of hiding myself. He asked what kind of porn I was into. He did not understand, her kept making jokes and I regret making him aware of my secret. It was a big deal for me. It meant that I trusted him and that I wanted his help to stop. He did not help me. Then for roughly a year with my last ex I dunno how many times I tried to tell him. So many times me sitting on my bed trying to find the right words to say. Last time I had sex with him I asked "can you do it with me in a different way?" he was on top of me and he took a deep breath. I gave up and let him do it as he wanted. That was really sad All of this to say that confessing is liberating but the people to be aware of your addiction must be chosen wisely. Being a girl with porn but especially sex addiction is hard to manage and to discuss. I had a flatmate who said to all of the flatmates about his alcohol addiction. He could talked about that. I couldn't. Deep down I knew what he was feeling though In this forum I feel understood. People have my same addictions and know what I feel. Before joining this forum a priest recommended me to do therapy group. I just never found the courage to show my face and talk openly about it. Porn and sex addictions are for the most part lived in secret. You never know if the people you tell would look at you like a sexual pervert and that is humiliating
Confessing is great for accountability, building honesty, and for destroying the secrecy of the problem. Plus, if you have a great is confessor then you can get some good feedback on how to avoid and attack your issue better. It also helps to have a regular person to confess to, which is why I think having an AP is important.
We have all gone through tough periods and I understand your struggle, I'm glad you confessed and opened up to people even tough they weren't the right ones to tell. But you manage to do it anyways. Being a woman probably makes it harder but keep fighting and good luck on your journey!!
