So I was on day 245, though these past few months I've been peeking and touching myself (though not for long, and not some edging bonanza for over an hour). But nonetheless I didn't stay clear and tricked myself into doing it. And yesterday I just went for it. At the moment I had rationalized it all and it felt like "well, you could just do it once, it's not that bad". But boy was it bad. Directly afterwards I felt that it wasn't nice at all, and I felt lethargic and tired. Went to watch something short on youtube, almost fell asleep on the couch so I decided to go to bed. This proceeded to become my worst night in a while ever since I had my last flatline period. I felt a crawling sensation in my arms and legs, and I alternated between freezing and sweating. Only after many hours, just past 4:30 did I fall asleep for only 2-2.5 hours. I'm at work now and I still feel like shit, mostly because my lack of sleep. And everytime I have a night like this I always feel so worried that my next night, or the night after that will be the same, and that worry tears at me. Anyone experienced the same? I would love some support here.
Do you think it was due to sudden dopamine rush, like a drug sickness? 245 days is a lot. You could have shocked your system.
Sounds reasonable. I went all out like I did in my earlier days when I PMO:ed several times a day. It does make sense, what you're saying. But is it likely?
I agree, 245 days is a hell of a long time. I guess you could compare it to going on a health kick for an extended time then suddenly eating a mountain of pancakes and maple syrup. Your body is going going to be like "what the fuck man", and you'd probably feel extremely unwell for a quite a while after. I wouldn't sweat it. You've gone longer than many people on here without PMO, and you're just in shock now, so wait for it to pass and just remember that this is one time in 245 days that you've indulged. I don't know how much you were doing it before, but that sounds like a massive achievement to me!
Thanks, it really helps reading your post. And true just as you said, if you suddenly eat a lot of sugar after staying clean from it for a long time your body will suddenly feel really weird and nauseous, which can go on for several hours until you feel normal again.
Exactly! Like I said, don't sweat it. You'll feel back to normal before you know it and then you can carry on with your journey into freedom. You've come this close...
Really, thanks for your support. You might have written some simple things here, but you brought a tear to my eye now that I'm in this vulnerable state. I'll press on and toughen this one out. Much love to you.
It means a lot knowing that I have helped you in any way NoFap should be more like this; a community of support and motivation. You're a fighter, and you'll keep on fighting until this addiction lies in pieces around you. Again, 245 days is a fucking colossal achievement; one which many guys on here can only dream of right now, so hats off to you man, you're an inspiration to us all. Don't let a small slip up influence your outlook on your progress. You are not your addiction.
