Started to P and M, felt disgusted

Hey guys!

I can't say my NoFap challenge is going golden up until now. I know I should not mainly focuss on "number of clean days in a row" and this is also why I think I will make a more profound challenge out of it (i.e: exercise goals and personal projects).

But this morning, I was alone and my computer was right next to me (risky conditions, I know). So I went to check out some girls. Few minutes later after starting to M, I felt my arousal going down. I did not want to check out any more of that crap. I felt disgusted.

I felt like a creep (voyeur)
I got more conscious of the men power over women found in most porn videos
I did not wanted to O

I wish I can keep that momentum each time I feel an urge. That is also why I am writing it down.

The guilt and depresssion part got me even before I finished. It's almost like I could thank porn for pushing me away! (Don't try this, it's not scientifically proven haha). Like a fastfood overdose, I felt repelled.

I restarted my counter again even though I didn't O. And in the next days I will make myself one of those calendar which keep track of other life relapses or improvements.


Got to hit the work now! See you soon!

 

Totally. I know this is a one-time thing. I cannot depend on porn to push me away another time because most probably, it won't.

Thanks for the comment. It is nice to see that you managed to "convert" your PMO energy into sports; which is an awesomely good new habit.

Good luck on your challenge too!