ok I did 10 days ...so far so good..well that deep depression I felt reminded me of why I chose to escape using that fantasy of porn... wow it sure feels so bad honestly I even had tears rolling down my eyes I just felt so sad so lonely so desperate ..I felt the pain and it was so real deep very deep depression ...I went for a drive I didn't want to go home and tears were coming out of my eyes I'm not embarrassed to admit it .. it was so painful but I m not going to deny it well when I got home I just wanted to sleep and not wake ....just felt like sleeping forever ..weird dream I saw my grandma who died years ago ...well I woke like at 3 am and like a robot I turned on my laptop and watched porn for like 1 hour and a half ...I didn't want to do it ...I didn't even felt like watching porn but ... it made me forget the sadness the loneliness ...well at about 4 20 am I put it away and went back to bed .... yes I PMO ... a few times and when I woke up I did it again and again and again for like 2 days in a row I kept doing it ..finally its over back TO fighting this addiction ...ONE THING I LEARNED I MUST DEAL WITH MY DEPRESSION .. I MUST NOT ESCAPE ...I MUST LOOK AT IT IN THE EYES ..AND IF I HAVE TO FEEL MISERABLE LET IT BE THEN ...I KNOW I M GOING TO GO THOUGH THIS AGAIN I KNOW ...I M NOT GOING TO RUN FROM IT ... I WILL WAIT FOR THIS DEPRESSION AGAIN AND I WILL FIGHT IT ... GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE HERE WE GO AGAIN ......DAY 0 HAPPY DAY BYE NOW
Iam right there with you brother, I went 1 week without pmo and starting all over again, (day 0). WE CAN DO THIS!
I'm on the same boat, my friend. We can do it! The reason why I relapsed was because I didn't stick to my routine or to my plan.
I'm so sorry for you. I know this deep pain all too well. I'm gonna tell you what has worked for me, and I know it may sound foolish. But have you ever asked God to come and be your Father? Again, I know it may sound "foolish," especially since I don't even know if you believe in Him. But as someone God has helped, let me tell you, He's real. I was a HUGE skeptic most of my life. And over time, I've grown to see that when I put trust in Jesus.... Like "Jesus, I know you can help me," and believing He could hear me. And reading His words and thoughts towards me (through the Bible), eventually, the reality of God's love started feeling more and more and more real. After a while, I started craving it because it allows me to be free of porn as long as I'm focused on it, and that "clean feeling" started becoming more desirable than feeling the "excitement" (followed by depression, guilt, shame, distress, etc.) of pornography. It's not perfect yet (only 8 days in), and I'm still getting my "legs." But the progress in my life is undeniable. I used to look at the internet for strangers to have sex with...DAILY. NOW, it's only down to watching porn once every few weeks, and that's going away too. You can know God too if you want, you only need faith to know and truly believe He's there with you whenever you open your mouth to speak to Him. Message me if you want. I'm not one to push "religion". I just wanna show you the pathway to get to know God. You may fail at first, which can happen when you lose focus... hey we're human. However, when you DO fail God's not angry with you. He simply wants to be your Father and show you a better way. He's kinda like an earthly father in that way. Like if you were a baby and you were trying to walk and you stumbled and fell, your dad wouldn't be mad at you. He'd simply pick you up and push you along the way, because He loves you. That's how God does. But even better, He has all power. And since He holds all power, He can definitely come into your life and fight your battle for you. That is after all what we are all seeking, right? Anyhow, I don't wanna preach TOO hard, but I'm praying for you. And through Christ, you CAN do all things. (Phillipians 4:13).
thank you for those words my answer about god yes I believe but sometimes I believe that god forgot about me yes I do pray but nothing seems to happen my faith needs to grow that's what I need thank you for those kind words
You know how faith grows? By hearing the word of God. But you may not have a bible near you so I'll paraphrase for you. Even Paul (one of the fathers of Christianity) found himself doing things in the flesh that his spirit (his true self) didn't want to do (Romans 7:14-23). And at first he became frustrated with his flesh leading him into places his spirit (his true self) didn't want to go (Roman 7:24). And it wasn't until he acknowledged that it was only faith in Jesus Christ that would save him from the guilt of sin (Romans 7:24-25), that he was able to get out of self-condemnation (Romans 8:1-2). If nothing else, study Romans 7 followed by Romans 8 to really understand the conflict of the flesh (domain of sin) and the spirit (domain of God.). Read it over and over, in multiple translations. Find the translation that makes the most sense to you. And read it over, and over and over (not in one sitting... I'm talking many weeks maybe months). Eventually, you'll begin to believe at the bottom of your heart that your feeling that God has forgotten about you is absolutely NOT TRUE. That is a lie from satan, which only SEEMS true (remember... he's REALLY GOOD AT LYING... all his lies seem true.). But the Word of God, which is THE TRUTH, says that God has NOT forgotten about you, and that NOTHING can separate you from His Love (Romans 8:38-39). When you get this truth in your heart and not just in your "head" (which will take reading over and over and over again over many months sometimes), you will stop feeling condemned, you'll start feeling loved, and this addiction will literally begin to fall away. I PROMISE YOU! Stay determined to get the truth in your heart. Romans 7 and 8. Focus there until it is alive in you. Here is one more truth that should pick you up right now... straight from Romana 4:5 (NLT) But people are counted as righteous, not because of their work, but because of their faith in God who forgives SINNERS. Are you a sinner? PERFECT! Then you qualify for God's forgiveness. I also suggest the book "The Power of Right Believing" by Joseph Prince.
