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Too late to change?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dreambigcities, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    i am a 27 year old guy who has used porn since I was 11 or 12 years old. So, I've watched porn for around 15 years pretty consistently.

    Until recent years, I never saw this as a problem. I never had a regular sexual partner, just some one offs (some of which were quite enjoyable), but mostly I've been disappointed with this aspect of my life. More often than not, I end up finding it difficult to feel sexually attracted to some of the people I date. This is disappointing for me because I am attracted to them, I just can't feel as aroused as porn makes me feel.

    Anyway, I came on here to ask if it's too late; after 15 years, it seems like my mind has latched onto porn as my sexual outlet and not people.

    Thanks for reading everyone.
     
    Bagration1944 likes this.
  2. Fluffykins

    Fluffykins Fapstronaut

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    It's never too late to change. It just depends on how much you truly want it and what your driving force is. Keep trying hard and don't be afraid to fall. You'll never fail unless you give up!

    Keep it up and keep going, you can message me sometime if you want. Also, I recommend breathing exercises. 4 7 8 breathing exercises you can google~
     
  3. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    Never too late. Heck you're only 27!!! From the title of the post I assumed your were going to be like 59 years old.

    27 years old and you think it's too late? You need to get that out of your head right now.

    You said that you don't get sexually aroused to real women like you do with porn. Your brain has been wired to porn and not women. Quit porn, pursue women and that will change.
     
    TalkingScum and Dreambigcities like this.
  4. flyjoy

    flyjoy Fapstronaut

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    not to late have watch 20years since 6 years old ;)
     
    plant goodness likes this.
  5. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your responses. I know that it can seem a bit dramatic, but sometimes you can look at your friends in relationships or successfully dating and feel really insecure.
     
  6. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, Jake. Can I ask when (assuming you had had a similar journey) your feelings of attraction returned after quitting porn.
     
  7. JakeWoods

    JakeWoods Fapstronaut

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    In all honesty I haven't beat this addiction yet. However I do notice that when I spend long periods of time away from porn and masturbation that I find real life women a lot more attractive.
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  8. plant goodness

    plant goodness Fapstronaut

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    It's never too late.

    However your reasons for changing might determine your success ultimately.

    If your sole purpose for quitting is sexual attraction, well that's your choice best wishes!
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  9. Bagration1944

    Bagration1944 Fapstronaut

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    I am here exactly for the same reason as you are. I started watching porn a decade ago. I cant get or maintain an erection with a real woman basically because I can't feel as aroused as porn makes me feel. This is very disappointing because I broke up with my girlfriend for this reason (besides other things). I love her but I cant satisfy her and she thought that i didnt want to slept with her because i have other woman or I didnt really love her. I hope that with the 90 day challenge we can reboot our minds
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  10. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Hi plantgoodness,

    Thanks for your reply. :)

    My goals here are to reboot my attraction to people outside of porn, however I'm taking a wider view too.

    Quitting porn is part of a larger lifestyle change for me, and I'm only seeing it as a small part of these changes. I want to build my relationships and be able to focus on putting energy into other areas of my life.

    My dependence on pornography is yet to fully emerge, but I think I already know that it's influence has been far greater than simpy inpacting my romantic life.
     
  11. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, Bargration.

    I really hope we get there too.
     
    Bagration1944 likes this.
  12. If it's too late for you then it's too late for most of us.
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  13. When you die is when it's too late for change to occur. You got this man. Start now and enjoy the ride.
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  14. Infern0

    Infern0 Fapstronaut

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    Not at all.

    You are almost the age when i was when i very first attempted nofap

    my only advice, be serious about it now and dont waste a couple of years half assing it like i did.
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  15. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, Infern0. How's it going with you now? Seriously tempted to delete Instagram for a while as there are lots of triggers there too.
     
  16. Infern0

    Infern0 Fapstronaut

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    Sadly for me, i had to hit a rock bottom to get back on top of things. This time last year i was doing really well and on day 77 but relapse after relapse...

    but i'm doing ok now, have truly realized i need to commit to this journey so sticking with it now
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  17. Seb123

    Seb123 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it is too late to change, but I have not yet been able to prove this after many years of trying. I am determined to prove that change is possible as I have the lives (and happiness) of my wife and child depending on it! How are you doing with it?
     
  18. Dreambigcities

    Dreambigcities Fapstronaut

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    Hi Seb,

    We can do it; as everyone has said on this thread, it is never too late.

    I'm doing ok -- for me, it starts getting tough around week 2. However, this time around I'm trying to not focus too much on days and weeks and just get on with things.

    Where are you up to?
     
  19. Dr Doom

    Dr Doom Fapstronaut

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    Hi man,
    First thing first; being attracted to someone is not only dependable on his/her beauty, there's more...

    1. To truly be attracted to someone you must share your secrets with each other.

    2. To understand that your bf/gf is unique.

    3. To truly understand that women are not sex objectives. (Take your time on this one)

    4. To realize porn is not real.

    Take your time on 3rd one since you have watched porn for 15 years or so, your mind thinks of women as sex objective and that's why you are never attracted to someone. What I suggest is to stop porn for a while before conversing with opposite gender; this should help you with feeling insecure.

    It's easier said than done so good luck my friend.
     
    Dreambigcities likes this.
  20. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    As long as the grass is not growing over your remains you have time to change and enjoy good results. I can remember being 27, about 40 years ago. If NoFap wasn't too late for me, you certainly have time to enjoy the positive results.
    As your mind realizes that it is not getting any more dopamine from P, it won't give up and quit wanting it. Your brain will get busy pushing for other options, real people options. Until you convince it that there is absolutely no more hope of ever getting another hit from P, your brain can let the world go by, while it waits for its next screen hit. If you do not quit, someday your body will quit reacting to P; there will be no reaction, no erections, no orgasms, just terminal frustration. If you do not quit before then, that is when you quit.
    I hope you quit now and enjoy years of a great family.
     

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