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Hey! We are same !
Sorry that you relapse, but good job on continue on your journey....question does an ap help and what role do they play?
Tiger1 An AP serves as your confidant with total transparency, for your encouragement/support, never to judge, embarrass or cause shame. The AP is the person you are always brutally honest with about your secret behaviors so that those secrets can't rule you and you are not alone in fighting them.
I've had the pleasure of working with 50+ guys here as an AP, 5 of them remain on paths that are improving with long streaks that have beat 30 days and beyond. 30+ of them fell away after failures and couldn't get back in gear - didn't want to be transparent and have accountability enough to succeed.
If you don't have 100% accountability to someone, it is easy to rationalize/excuse yourself to where you're still stuck in the same rut 20 years later...I know from experience. I am always willing help anyone looking. APs are what helped me break my cycle and I want to give back.
I'm willing to work with anyone that wants some help - many of my AP relationships just passed the 2 year mark. I'm here for the long haul.