Comments on Profile Post by Halpherisdusfrey

I have to engage myself in new things, new idea, new people. I just don't know how i can improve myself, my profession by just suck my head at all those school thing.

Sometimes honestly people accidentally said something that i feel irritated but can't respond, can't express it out but suppress it. Sometimes i was somehow still affected by people' words.

every end has new beginning and every beginning has story till end... why don't you focus on making this story beautiful... its easy to say than to do... but somewhere i really want to feel the things i felt before pmo but obviously i have forget how my world was before i get introduce to pmo because it is 13 years and thats hell lot of time

And those relationships in the past maybe healed some part but i don't think it can go further or anywhere else. It just a standstill. Maybe right now i'm feeling stuck somehow, but still have to keep going.

to improve yourself you need to focus on your social circle... you can't please everyone and you can't be pleased by everyone so you need to be bit selective with people around yourself... be with those who accept you as you are and you accept them as they are without expectations of change... social life plays important role on every aspects of life...

It's like i have the whole world in front of me, and those fellows of me have gone too far that they have a lot of interesting experience that i can't catch up, that i need more time, that this, that that...

@ujjing And sometimes, i feel like i sometimes go to lunch alone, that's no good for my mental health but i have to. It's still feel like "i don't belong to any group" or "i can't be accepted or fit in"

It's just that i cannot. I lack too much of skills. Social skills, street smarts, cooking skills, i'm maybe just fine at the schooling but no at every other aspect. And i feel that i have to run more faster but it's like i can't.

There's somehow of the dissatisfaction like i'm still wandering around, going nowhere. It's like feeling stuck.

I don't know how to get out of this spiral feeling but continue to do what i have to.

And it's like everybody else has their own plan already. I have my dad's company that i know i have to take over, but the thing is i still don't know how and still struggle.

there is never wrong time to do the right thing instead of blaming yourself for anything wrong accept that this world is neither fair nor perfect... yeah i also do live with the same feelings then i have issue if i don't fit anywhere but now i try to live with like minded people...when i was in my first year of college i use to visit restaurant or multiplex alone

I have to get out of what i feel and join the reality to create the real value. That's the important thing.

It's like an overwhelming feeling, a feeling that it's a whole world and i don't know which is the best way.

but then from next year i force myself to socialization and end up with more regret... then i again choose to live in solitary... dealing with that phase of my life was hardest thing i was swinging between depression & pornography... to avoid depression i watch porn and to avoid porn i live alone...

It's feel like i have to figure it out by myself while i still have to continue all the school thing right now. Deadlines deadlines are chasing me.

i ended up living with both and ruining myself still the regret of ruining myself by myself is less than getting ruined by others... idk what kind of feeling is this still may be i was wrong on my part i expect too much from this world... if i expect people to be kind and polite may be that was also too much for everyone,.. people expect me to be kind and polite when it comes to themselves they just forget it

@ujjing Yeah, that's the college life. easily get discourage. And never find any true pals to feel safe when you're around them. A harsh truth.

@ujjing I don't know how to have real connection in real life, not just online. That's all i tried but i feel it's just never enough.

just focus on yourself and your academic life... those one who have to stay with you will definitely understand you as the person you are from inside... the burden of living with expectation of making everyone happy and finding happiness in that thing is a difficult thing...
for sure at any moment we cannot please everyone and if somehow we do we won't please ourselves

Okay back to work. Hope that someone going thru this can give me some advice about this. Or can just relate. @@

@ujjing nah, i give up pleasing people. I just please myself and when i accept that i did it great but they don't recognize it, that's fine. I know my effort and it's okay if the others don't.

yeah real connection is important, meeting physically, hanging out and talk is different feelings but at the last of day we cant force ourselves to have such feelings... people are getting less emotional and more cunning day by day... even after months and years living with someone we can't decide how good or bad is that person for us until or unless their true intention is exposed

the worst thing of online connection is that people treat online connection just as means of entertainment as if the time or emotion involve in online connection is not worthy... whatever
no matter how much we complain at the last of day world will not go according to us

@HarrisD enjoy your work and meet the deadlines... idk how much my words were correlated for your current feelings but still i tried to answer that was possible from my side

@ujjing yeah, i need more physical interaction not just online ones. Even though this community is so caring and great but i’m nothing if i throw my social life into garbage.

The feeling to belong is so hard to find in these days.so yeah, it’s just hard for me.

everything has its own pros & cons and either its physical or online interaction,everything has its own importance also but yeah we can't ignore the real feelings also aroused in physical meetings which are rather touted to be just virtual in case of online.We are dealing with strict lockdown since 23rd March, no hangout just stay in the house no college no hi no bye,we are also exhausted but can't do anything

anyways you seems bit frustrated with your current social life... all i can do is wish a great day ahead free of such anxiety and feelings...

@ujjing Yeah. Anw I'm in Vietnam and we control the pandemic well, we go to school and now i'm finishing this term. Hope that things going good and i made it in time @@ . Anw stay safe in this time pls. We have so many infectious pp in the world now @@

Humans spend so much time fooling themselves and with end up overthinking shit at times. Things take time. Sorry y'all but I couldn't read everything you have written. It just looks like a lot of talk,like everything else on the internet. I do wish you both luck, though.

@Thors You're right. I just overthink and it's not good tbh. I'm trying my best to look at the bright side of the problem and the people.

A problem isn't a problem if it doesn't cause problems for others.
Sure, I had my ups and downs, like I had this girl I used to talk with and we were great friends. She was emotionally attached to me and felt like she was used when I told her 2 days ago that I can't be friends with her anymore.

The reason why I couldn't is purely religious and I saw it as the right thing to do. To her, this might be me 'pulling the time to hate me' trigger. I was thinking of her sort of the same way too but I measured how much I cared for her and how much I cared for me and how much I cared for the one who would give me something worth my sacrifice, God, because I'm a Muslim.

Oh keep telling me the story . I'll back soon Thors.

And of course, I cared about God and what pleases him more than literally anything on earth. That meant for me that it is 100% the right choice. Sure, to her, it's not the right choice at all.

She sort of loved me and I do regret doing what I did but I'm slowly thinking that I shouldn't regret something that I've done right. It's not right from all directions but the one direction I cared about is what I made sure to succeed.

The relationship is over and it could be reset in the future but I don't see her willing to be friends with someone like me. I try to be logical in almost every thing I do. I don't seem that way but I do.
Sure, If I wasn't a Muslim, I would've never have not friended her in the first place.

But if I wasn't a Muslim, then I also wouldn't be myself. It's part of me. I can't let it go or betray it. I say that I don't care for others as much but here I am, trying to understand and care for others, especially those who might be caring about me too but I can't help it.

I can't stop myself from being the way I am. The right guy who keeps being brutally honest about everything and if he wants to do something, he does it. And if he saw something that he didn't like, he'd do his best to not care and not involve himself but I can't do that very well.
I can't stop caring but after a few days, I start to manage.

I start to manage to not think about that person so much and just live my life. But even then, I still wonder how she's doing and I do feel bad for what I've done to her but I don't regret it. Never. It was the right choice to make. The right path. I just have to believe that and I'll manage to live.

Damn, I raped this comment section. Welp, all in a days work.

@Thors Well, if you become who you really are, then who stays will stay, who goes will go. It's just the fact that sometimes letting go of something is good. Life is full of changing and time will heal. So yeah.

You're right.