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10 days short of 90 and the relaps cost me $150

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by TheJetDude44, Feb 16, 2021.

  1. TheJetDude44

    TheJetDude44 Fapstronaut

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    My fellow fapstronaouts it pains me to write this but I have failed a strong nofap streak. I went 80 days without porn masturbating or orgasom but it ended today due to strong urges. I felt myself craving a lot of sex today due to my testosterone being high because of working out.

    I had it under control for most of the day but I got caught off guard when I was scrolling through Snapchat and a promo account popped up after a story I had watched. Obviously those promo accounts advertise premium snapchat accounts of sexual content. The thumbnails got me worked up and I watched one and then another and next thing I know I had spent almost $150 bucks to view the content of these accounts and have fapped 3+ times. I was so close but unfortunately my streak has come to an end and now I feel awful. Some words of encouragement and comfort would be much appreciated....

    Be careful and weary of snapchat as it was the cause of my downfall hope this posts serves as a warning to be careful on that app. If not to be deleted altogether while recovering from sex addiction. Should I delete the app and try again? It was my only social media during my streak but now i'm unsure if I should keep it or not as its the only media I use to communicate with friends.

    I plan on re-starting another streak as this is my third but not my longest. To recap my first was about 20 days but involved some edging and ended in relapse. The second was a clean 90+ with minor edging but was ended by a celebratory mindset that caused a porn binge. This last one was clean and was hoping it would be the one that would get me back into the dating game but now I don't know what i'm going to do about my love life. I feel terrible and disgusted which will hurt my confidence and would like the communities input on how to proceed with my life. Should I try to date or keep waiting until I get through a clean 90 Days??? Delete snap?
     
  2. RaXaZ

    RaXaZ Fapstronaut
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    Delete snap, why you spend time on this useless app anyways? What advantage do you have of it that isn't there without? You submit yourself to a piece of technology and discover that you feel guilty for making the decision in the end. Your emotional brain tricked you here and had been assertive to your detriment. Nevertheless good job bro for the 80 days and stay strong on your way forward!
     
  3. TheJetDude44

    TheJetDude44 Fapstronaut

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    It wasn't much of a problem until now and I only kept it to talk to some friends here and there. But your right about my emotional brain taking control and ending my streak, I'll watch out for that this time and am considering deleting the app and just keeping a facebook page without the app being on my phone of course and filters active.
     
  4. Bob12345

    Bob12345 Fapstronaut

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    Don’t use Instagram or Snapchat, they are full of triggers. Just remember that obsessing about NoFap will not do you any good. Instead, obsess about or be focused self improvement. Read books for example , complete your work. Do something with that pressure from the urges rather than keep it burning inside of you. Take a cold shower, go out of the house. Do something that will give you a sense of fulfillment
     
    TheJetDude44 likes this.
  5. Bob12345

    Bob12345 Fapstronaut

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    Obviously you have done very well for yourself and we have a lot to learn from you. I would like to know if the urges and temptations went away after some time because they usually say it takes about 90 days to rewire your brain.
     
    TheJetDude44 likes this.
  6. A8X

    A8X Fapstronaut

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    From my experience, the answer is no. My brain is addicted to sexual stimuli even if i haven't watched porn for many months. I just hope that the urges to watch porn gets weaker for each time i remain sober for an extended period of time. I've accepted that my brain will always crave for sexual stimuli and i have to deal with it. Avoiding triggers and take proper care of oneself is key, but there is no guarantee.

    TheJetDude44: You may failed to make it to your goal of 90 days, but you have been porn free for 80 days! That's worth something, get back on the horse and continue your journey! Regarding dating, there is no way to tell how many sober days are appropriate before dating and i personally don't think that number is important. Perhaps you can try different means for dating instead, that isn't as triggering?
     
  7. Bob12345

    Bob12345 Fapstronaut

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    A8X, tell us a bit more about yourself. How old are you? How long have you been addicted and how long have been off this habit? Tell us about your story.
     
  8. First thing, you've done great so far. You've just stumbled across something that you should avoid next time, but your streak shows progress. You feel better without porn, right?

    My advice: delete snapchat (if you can) and avoid dating.
    The first thing led you to your recent failure, so the best thing is to delete the app. If you really need it for communication, then, do everything not to let ads pop up and delete any groups that you were wasting your time on (I mean, I'm not sure how snapchat works, but my guess it's a kind of Facebook-like app?)
    In the case of dating, it is best to take care of your main problem first, and then take the next step. You must feel comfortable around women first, i.e. if they trigger your dirty thoughts, then that's not the best time to start dating them.

    Step by step, brother. And learn from your last mistake, because you're really on the right way to freedom. Don't give up, because it's worth you future, and that's not an exaggeration.
     
    TheJetDude44 likes this.
  9. A8X

    A8X Fapstronaut

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    Here is a summary of my background: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...nd-any-boundaries-how-to-remain-sober.302992/

    I am close to 40, been a sex & love addict since my mid teens, started my recovery journey about 4 years ago, which consisted of going to 12-step meetings and therapy sessions. I was done with therapy little over a year ago and i don't go to 12-step meetings anymore for several reasons. But i still feel the need to communicating with other recovering addicts to remain sober and this looks like a great community for doing just that.
     
  10. Bob12345

    Bob12345 Fapstronaut

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    good luck man, we're here to help each other. ask whatever you want we can help you.
     
  11. God_Mode_Activated!!

    God_Mode_Activated!! Fapstronaut

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    I can completely relate to what you are saying!

    In my past, one of the reasons why I frequently fapped was similar to yours. I would make excuses that I need this app or that so as to connect to friends. But when I thoroughly analyzed, I communicated with friends a lot less and more time was spent on useless junks. Now, I don't have any social media accounts or mostly I deactivate them - I use them when extremely necessary.

    One big realization for me was that so as to connect to people you don't need social media at all. It can never be a replacement to your natural way of communication.

    It's hard unless you make a decision to delete. Once deleted you will no longer give a shit about it!

    Good luck!
     
    TheJetDude44 likes this.
  12. TheJetDude44

    TheJetDude44 Fapstronaut

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    To answer your question the temptation for the hardcore porn I used to watch did dwindle and I found myself craving physical sexual encounters and intimacy instead which is much more aligned with our natural human cravings. As sexual and emotional creatures I don't believe that we can ever truly eliminate our desire for sex but as porn addicts we should focus on learning how to emotionally connect with partners and the sexual dysfunctions will cure themselves with time through that process. Porn gives you all of the sexual pleasures without the emotional satisfaction that comes with bonding with someone. This is why I believe it's so hard to stop because we essentially forget that their is that second part to sex that most of us men ignore or forget about and find difficult to re-learn and and integrate it back into our sex lives.
     

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