101* Not Out

I wanted to write this post yesterday but I've been too lazy though I'll keep the title as it is and there's a reason behind which I shall delve into in just a moment. Firstly a little bit about me. The first letter of my name is P and lets just call me that only. I'm a 24 year old heterosexual male from India. The last time I was this close to a 100 day streak was September 2017 and I had relapsed at 97 days then. It took me almost 7 years and countless other battles to be at this stage again.

Being from India if you didn't already know, Cricket is huge here. Almost every Indian in their life has had some relationship with the sport whether it was voluntary or not. I won't bore you with the details of it too much as its not important to the subject of this post. The main purpose of keeping the title as 101* Not out was because while batting in the game if you've scored 100 runs in an innings, its called scoring a century. It is also considered a great feat/achievement in the sport and one of the best feeling to feel as a cricketer. Today I possess exactly the same emotions and I don't stand alone. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for this one other letter who has been with me ever since I started this particular innings. She is D and she has become my favorite word. So I want to give a tribute to her in this post. Here I write for the one and only person who helped me in this journey.

D
"People come and go
yet you stayed
You looked at my flaws
yet you stayed
You saw me with my masks off
yet you stayed
Whenever I made some mistake
yet you stayed
You cried every time of pain
yet you stayed
It hurt a lot in your heart
yet you stayed
One time you decided to leave
yet you stayed
You fought for us
against everything
You're not just a word
you complete me
You're my number 7
I'll hold onto you."
PSD

I know this is a very different kind of success story but honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. The * Not Out is basically we're still on the pitch, batting against PMO and now the next aim is a "double ton" (200). A tip at last I would give is tell someone about your addiction who is close to you. I got lucky that I found a person who doesn't judge or thinks of me any less. She is my support, my accountability partner and my girlfriend. The biggest strength PMO has over us is it being discreet and a secret we can't share with others. Don't give it that power, don't feed it more. D says this to me, "those who are ours never leave us" so tell someone today and not fear of what they will think about you, if they really care about you, they will understand and help you because you need that help. You're not alone in this.

If you have any questions or things you want to ask me specifically, feel free to leave them in the replies and I'll get back to you. Thank you for reading.

{P.S: I planned this post for D, she has no idea about it and I'm going to surprise her with it. I love you and thank you for staying.}