12 years long addict, time to take control back

Hi everyone. My name is Sanjin, 25 years old and I come from Croatia. This will be a long post and my English is not great so forgive me So I started fapping when I was 12. At first it was normal just using my imagination. It soon turned to magazines like Playboy. At 13 I got a computer and internet connection and then I started to fap to porn. I fapped to porn every single day for 12 years straight, taking a day off very rarely. When I was younger I was always full of energy,played alot of sports, was outgoing and in class I was the class clown, making people laugh. In the middle of high school I started to notice that my energy levels were droping, I was tired more often then not, I started to have problems concentrating on my studies and was beggining to become more and more shy and more closed to myself. Then came college. For the first time in my life I experienced depression, anxiety and my first panic attack at age of 19. I was still an active person, going to the gym, eating healthy and having a healthy life so it was very confusing to why I was feeling this way. I could not figure it out. I had a good friend that was into self improvement so we would talk about alot of things. I noticed that lately he is more happy and more just masculine to put it this way. He told me that he started doing nofap and that I should look into it. It sounded strange and weird but I went to look into it anyways. I did not wanna try it cuz I belived that this is normal, you should fap and watch porn, there is nothing wrong with it and it is natural. But I gave it a shot anyways just for the fuck of it. My goal was 7 days nofap/not using porn and I thought it was gonna be easy. I failed the second day. I was like ok ok no big deal I didn't take it seriously I wil try again but this time I am going for it. Boom I failed 3 days in. Then it clicked. I was like hmmm is there something to it? Do I have a problem maybe? I tried again and failed again at 3th day. Then I was like holy shit I might have a problem. I started to look into it more, the science behind it, everything about dopamine, all the success stories made sense and I could relate to alot of people. I put 2 and 2 together and began a long journey to recovery. My first real successful reboot lasted 100 days. It was the hardest thing I did by far in my life. The urges were insane. But after 90 days I began to feel like I never felt in my life. All the "superpowers" people talk about, well I experienced them all. I was finally back. The real me. The outgoing, happy, no anxiety, no fear, confident gonna go crush the world me. Then guess what. I relapsed. And went right back into it. This was 2 years ago. Last year I did another 90 day reboot and began to feel like real me again only to relapse and go back into it again. So now that I have all the experince with it I know what I have to do. I need far more days then 90 days to heal my 12 year long addiction. I reckon at least 6 months. Yea it is gonna be a long ride but I will crush it I know I will. When you really want something and put your mind into it you can anchieve it. So the journey begins my friends. Today is day 1 of hard mode NoFap no porn no edging and the goal is AT LEAST 6 months. Stay strong I wish you all the best

 

We sure will buddy. We sure will