143 days free - need some support

A bit of background..
My last streak was about 160 days altogether, managed to have sex, libido a bit returned. Then had 1 porn binge (1 day) and masturbated without porn a few times.
Then stopped with all activity and now I'm again 143 PMO free (hard mode).

This night I was at a small party and got drunk. Pulled a girl Im in love with aside (the same one I had sex few months ago but we stopped seeing each other unfortunately) and made out with her for a minute. My dick was almost dead. During my last streak making out would make me really erect, but this time no.
My morning woods are rare and I don't get spontaneous erections.

Of course I was highly addicted for years and don't expect miracles, but now it has been over 10 months altogether with just 1 relapse with porn and I still have PIED problem obviously.

That makes me so sad and depressed.. My self confidence is trash because of that.. And the situation with this girl makes it even worse (she kinda likes me but does not want to be with me, I have a feeling thats because my low self esteem and not great performance in bed which then affect my performance anxiety further and so on)...

I need some advice, warming words, anything...

Thanks

 

Thanks for your input. Well, I doubt that I had not wanted her that much because I find her sooo attractive and I am crazy in love with her. But she is not into me so much.
I would say that this emotional bond was not strong enough, which used to be so important to me with every girl I was (even with this one before). But on the other hand, sex shouldnt depend on that... I don't know, I'm confused..
The only thing I know is that I must not go back to porn because it can't help me in any way.

 

Well, I could give it a shot.. But I'm somehow scared because I decided to go full power into this. Have to think about it more

 

Thanks man. I read it and will think about this approach. What conserns me is that 90 days is not enough for my severe addiction. Also, this time I didn't have "rewiring" done, means I am completely alone, almost without even kissing a girl until this night. Unlike the last time (my last streak) when I was bonding with the girl, we made out a few times, I had just one unsuccesful attempt to have sex and after that twice sucessful.
Maybe this is the main difference...

 

Thanks man for your kindness