180 days and thoughts

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by beous, Mar 9, 2018.

  1. beous

    beous New Fapstronaut

    Hi everyone,
    This is the first time I'm posting here even though I've been visiting now and then.

    Background about me (before nofap) :
    -Discover porn at ~11-12
    -Started viewing erotic pictures at the age of 14 and soon turning into videos
    -Been doing one fap a day or every another day
    -Average porn watching session is above 1 hour (I know)
    -Genre of them have been shifting to the more hardcore ones throughout years
    -After highschool, I was doing 2-3 faps a day with each session lasting at least 45 minutes and only did once a day if fatigue hit
    -Gets a hard on easily, anyplace and anywhr
    -Can get really horny when girls sit near me and stuff (was uneasy to act normal)
    -Started feeling problem with a long erection unless a hardcore was being viewed
    -Normal porn just aint doing anything for me
    -No confidence talking to girls, strangers and was just socially anxious and awkward.
    -Was often complimented by girls for being cute and stuff but I was pussy so
    -Never had any physical contacts with girls

    At 21,
    - Discovered Nofap a little over one year ago.
    - Tried it just to see if it works and to get my long lasting erection back
    - Started with reducing the frequency to one fap a week by watching non-sexual but tantalizing videos (kissing random girls etc)
    - This really WORKED. My erection was good even the video showed no skin and was just normal kissing
    - Didnt really feel any boost in confidence but its a lot better than what I used to be
    - After this, had no idea how but I somehow started abstaining from wanking at all
    - Wasn't keeping count but have been doing nofap for 2 weeks+ then relapsed then again for quite a few months.
    - Figured I could go longer and really commit to it.
    - Started with one month journey and then relapsed.
    - Felt really good in that one month. Confidence and all you name it.
    - Talking to girls is no longer a problem at ALL
    - Decided to start a real journey
    - After about one month, made out for the first time with this girl who my friend brought to the bar and surely soon enough I turned it into a FWB relationship (Just FYI I've every even touched a girl's hand before this and let alone kissing)
    - Had no problem achieving what I wanted to and expressing myself
    - Because of the FWB relationship, easily achieved nofap for 3 months (summer break)
    - At the same time, hung out with my highschool crush (that I really liked) and I told her I liked her without problem and she said she actually liked me a lot too but she's flying back to another country for school so thats it.
    - After school starts, I got back into my life and FWB relationship cut off (long distance)
    - Went back to casual porn and masturbation now and then
    - Was still confident and all
    - Fell in love with a coursemate of mine and stopped wanking without me even realizing it.
    - Have been abstaining for like 160 days during the pursue of the girl
    - During this period, I was NOT HONRY at all time, truly loved the girl and all I thought about was having a future with her. Never was I once fantasize about anything with her.
    - After months of pursue, got rejected horribly but I confessed and all without problem (was proud of myself for all that courage)
    - After the rejection, went back to fapping vigorously
    - First fap session was easily a binge which lasted a few hours and had 3 orgasms.
    - Been losing confidence and all, became socially awkward, couldn't hold a convo with anyone especially girls, heart pumping and all you name it but couldnt help it so
    - Tried to get back to nofap but always succumbed to it every 3 days ~ a week
    - Couldn't bare the weak me
    - Determined and decided to really nofap
    - The first month, the whole month, was HELL
    - It was the worst I've ever been, no confidence, tired ALL THE TIME no matter how much I slept, avoiding girls I like and stuff (I know)
    - Worst experience I ever had and my self-esteem was really fucked
    - Was doubting nofap and all but recalled what I achieved last time so I struggled through
    - After the 1 month mark, I didnt instantly gained all I lost back but it gradually came back (over a long course)
    - I reckoned I had my confidence and all back only after like 4-5 months of nofap
    - It was getting better all the time but it just wasnt there (cause I knew what I could have become)
    - Now at 180 days, I'm just at the best form, period.
    - I'm talking to girls without problem unless I'm really lack of sleep or I had one (or more) wet dreams the night before.
    - Yes I got twice wet dreams in one night at approximately ~160 days mark
    - Been having wet dreams like once every week now
    - Will feel a bit loss of the super power after WD but it's not gonna be a real problem and it goes away fast enough

    That's it.
    Thats my journey and I'm not gonna give up whatsoever now since I know I'll be really really fucked if I relapse again.
    It was a really really hard journey to get back into it.
    I've done 180 days and so can you.
    I'll prolly post again when I hit 365.
  2. SkyFallBack

    SkyFallBack Fapstronaut

    Good working! Keep it up. Remember the reason you started and stick to it!
    j_pwc_bat likes this.
  3. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

    "That's it.
    Thats my journey and I'm not gonna give up whatsoever now since I know I'll be really really fucked if I relapse again.
    It was a really really hard journey to get back into it.
    I've done 180 days and so can you.
    I'll prolly post again when I hit 365.

    FearMyDiscipline likes this.

Share This Page