2 years into sissy fetish, still can’t get over it

Hi @Ferrari_2020

Time and patience.

In my view, it took a lot to time and patience to get where you are today. To get somewhere else will also take a lot of time and patience. One thing to remember is each of us has experienced what we have experienced. The pornography we saw and the fantasies we had can not be undone. They are a part of us so we can not expect to go back to the way we were before. At least not without destroying the part of the brain that holds those memories, not something I recommend.

There's a common theme in literature and film. Embracing the dark side of ones self. This is not to say we descend into madness and continue with these acts. Rather, we both turn away and acknowledge it's a part of our past. A part of who we are.

I wish you the best in overcoming this issue.

 

This process is commonly reported here and is almost always a kind of "porn escalation". What happens is that over time as you watch more and more porn, to get that same dopamine rush you need something more extreme or shocking. This is why often folks move from typical stuff to more fetishistic content.

In my opinion, what makes the "sissy fetish" particularly potent (and dangerous), is that you're not just fantasizing about a particular *situation*, you're actually temporarily "trying on" a different sexual *identity*. This can result in a big thrill since it's so different and taboo to anything you've experienced.

Often though it becomes confusing because after you PMO to this kind of weird stuff, you might feel repulsed or ashamed, asking yourself "Why did I just j/o to that?" This feeling is because what you just did, what you just imagined, is totally incongruous with who you really are (that's also why it gave such a big rush in the first place). This alone isn't necessarily horrible, but, over time, you can start start feeling a kind of identity crisis if you keep putting your mind into such unhealthy states. After tons of "brainwashing" content guys eventually can start asking themselves "Jeez am I really gay?" or "Do I really want to become a woman?" etc. (Hint: The answers to these are almost certainly "no", but because of the conditioning you keep putting your brain & body through you may have trouble believing it).

In any case the plan I recommend (which helped for me and some others) is to:

1) For a couple weeks, every day look at yourself in the mirror, deeply into your own eyes, and say several times "My name is [your name]. All of that porn I've been watching has no effect on me anymore. The memory of it is fading every day. I am becoming myself again, more and more each day."

2) Stop all PMO for a period of 90 days (this is the standard nofap "reset"). If you absolutely have trouble making it at first, then temporarily allow yourself to j/o ONLY to pictures of SOLITARY WOMEN (no sex scenes with men involved, period) - this will at least help recondition you back to your true sexual nature.

3) Work on improvements in your life which can recharge your healthy male sexuality, e.g. working out, doing sports, eating well, improving your career, and learning how to socialize with females again (something which might take some practice if it's been awhile, but that's ok!)

Take care buddy, hope this helps. There are others on this board besides me who get what you're dealing with and hopefully they will chime in as well.

 

General advice which may or may not be helpful here:

Sissy fetish is almost always associated with anal play (like butt plugs for example).

Just look up what a "prolapse" looks like, and at least you will immediately get over the Sissy obsession of wanting to be fucked anal

I'm still strugelling with the cross dressing aspect though

 

Yes I'm a grateful overcomer of the sissy fetish.
Check out my journal. It may inspire you to make the right steps out of your addictive and enslaved life!

 

@Ferrari_2020 I haven't been through your exact fetish but in my own there is an element of imagining myself in the woman's position... it's not the core of the fetish but I relate in this sense.

I often think that putting myself in the woman's place is a way of connecting to her, because watching her isn't enough. Even if we are the man having intercourse with her, this intimacy is still not as intimate as the impossible ideal of actually being her and knowing exactly what she's feeling. So, my theory (I'm no psychologist!) is that part of dissociating as somebody else is a desire to connect, implying that the connection you are looking for might be missing in your life.

How does this answer your question about how to eliminate the evil? The people I know on NoFap who have broken free or made significant progress towards the same have one thing in common: they have addressed the root of their desire and the unfulfilled needs their desire reflects, and have done so over years of hard work and reflection. First, you have to understand the evil. Many fetishes and sexual preferences in general reflect unfulfilled needs in our lives, most likely going back to childhood. The whole "think of your childhood" pitch may sound somewhat cliche and derivative, but when addressed properly, it truly helps.

 

I fully agree with this!