20, feeling utterly lost.

Hi @insingularity

Before I got married this year (I'm 30), I didn't get a girlfriend until I was 21. After my breakup, I was single for more than 6 years! During the 6 years, I didn't date anyone for 3 years. I only started seriously looking for dates 3 years ago. And even then I felt like giving up, that I would be single my entire life as all my friends around me were making progress in their careers, getting married, having kids and just starting to date.

I was also nervous about approaching girls, so I approached them as a friend instead. Sincerely getting to know them, and also accepting rejections like it's part of everyday life. Whenever I felt worn out and tired from all the rejections, I would stop and just be by myself for about a month before I went out to meet people.

Regarding making progress on insecurities, well sometimes it does come back. Let yourself feel those emotions and then remind yourself of the present. You have made it this far, you are still alive, and that is a blessing!

Feel free to journal your thoughts here. Writing it out can help with releasing these negative emotions. Taking up sports is also a good way to meet new people.

Stay strong!

 

@torrace thanks for sharing brother..

 

I wouldn't suggest getting caught up in the casual scene if you're a virgin; you'll probably end up regretting it later down the road. Torrace gave the best advise, find a friend, and don't be afraid of all that friendzone nonsense either.

I know people caught up in the friendzone phobia, it keeps them from finding anyone because of one instance in their life where they were pretty much politely rejected. Rejection doesn't mean failure, it only detours you from something that wouldn't of been in your, or that persons best interests. So no matter what keep center focus that there is someone out there who will absolutely adore you, it just takes time.