2017 has been the worst, lonliest year of a bad life

Back in 2016 was when i first got into self improvement after years of wondering what was "wrong" with me and not getting any answers, i finally found useful information online. And while 2016 wasnt amazing, i did make progress and improvement.

Then the end of the year hit...


My job of 5 years which was a comfort zone to me closed down suddenly..

In my panic i decided to go back to college (something i was wanting to do but a bit further down the line) and i signed up to a degree that wasnt really in line with my passion.

Then suddenly i lost my really good flat because the landlord sold up. I ended up moving in with my friend and his girlfriend in a rough area and was persuaded to sign a 12 month lease with them...


The start of the year was ok, but then i got cleaned out financially due to not being able to find a job that worked with my studies. Also at this time (mid year) i struggled with health issues as i got the flu, which turned into glandualr fever and then vestibular neuritis which is a balance disorder causing chronic dizziness and fatigue (this has effected me badly for 6 months and is only now i THINK starting to clear up)

Also at the start of this sickness a girl i REALLY liked i ended up making out with a bunch and we had a really good night where she slept over, only for her to go cold the next day, which just crushed me as i thought finally i was going to be dating someone i really liked. This lead to me getting very depressed for a couple of months and i lost friends during this time as i was acting weird. This hit me HARD, because of the come down from false hope. It took months to get over and im still not 100%

I kept holding onto foolish hope for months after this with her and we got back to being "friends" until recently when i realized i had to move on as i was just a friendzoned loser now and not even a real friend like before (we never even hang out now its all just messages)

I also dropped out of college due to all this stress and had to get a full time job just to get some money in, which is just a wage slave job.

I guess im just rambling but as the year is coming to an end, last night my laptop broke and i ended up going to sleep at 8.50pm because i was like there is nothing i enjoy, i don't have any hope left right now and i cant even distract myself with gaming.

I hope i can get it together next year because this year has just been L after L after L