UPDATE DAY 80 in the Books! I made it to day 80! Just 10 till 90 and 20 till I make my goal to be with my wife! Still thinking I may have to go longer with out PMO so as to not want to look at women and objectify them. I just enjoy it too much! But then it isn't the same kind of creeper feel I used to get looking at them. I am more admiring the whole of them, instead of focusing on one area. Though not always. One thing I have tried to do, is have conversations with the women, talk to them. Yes even if it is just to say hello, then that changes everything. Once I interact with them, then my focus is off of their body, and onto them. I do this intentionally. And yes I am married. I do not do this but to make them become the real person they are, to help my mind remember they are someones daughter, maybe someones sister, wife or girlfriend. It is when I revert to the voyeur mode I have been stuck in for 20+ years that I am unsuccessful. It is about changing my thought patterns, my attitudes and my reactions. Still a long way to go. Can't expect to change decades of habits in just 90 days. To be the rebootman I strive to be, then I must be the Man willing to fight the fight, the hardest fight, against myself. For those of you making excuses, I did too, and I still find my mind trying to trick me. I tell it to shut the hell up. You don't own me anymore. It responds with fleeting images, fetishes, or thoughts. Again, I focus on the progress of where I am, how far I have come. I use the failed past of my PMO life, and build stepping stones. I picture myself walking up these steps. One at a time, reminding myself that though I was weak, now I am strong. And each step I take on top of the shameful, selfish past to a higher ground towards a confident successful member of the human race. I press on, taking up this fight, holding a sword victoriously, hoping to look behind me and see others willing to stand up. To click those tabs closed, push away from the flickering images. Telling themselves, I've got this, I want to do this, I won't be fooled by my mind anymore. I will stand firm. I will be a man and quit whining about what I am missing out on or what I don't have. I will take responsibility. I will do the hard work. I will make the sacrifices. Looking forward to the battle. Knowing bruises may come. Attacks will be certain. But as long as I know I am not in this alone. That I have other brothers willing to fight, I will do my part and fight my battle one temptation at a time. If i take a hit. I won't let it send me home. I will rip off a piece of my uniform, make a tourniquet to stop the bleeding and get right back in the fight. Knowing I will do this. Knowing it will not be easy. I WILL Defeat Fapping. I will Not PMO! Below is from my 30th day Update..... 30 days down, now onto another goal! This was very hard for me. The longest I had ever gone with out M was 7 days and without P was 14, so going hard mode for 30 has been a B a big B. And man am I surprised I made it. So many times I wanted to cave and just felt like really letting loose and giving in. The urges were almost overwhelming at times and my thoughts still pursue me at every moment or every view of the female form. If it was not for my total transparency with some other guys, my wife and my newfound freedom from the success, fail, guilt cycle, that I was tired of feeling, I am sure I would have given in to the desire. I am hopeful of what is to come, and look forward to the day when I don't look at women as objects. I find myself becoming more aware of them and regarding them differently, but I still feel the urges, and I almost have a sort of grief I am experiencing. One thing that has been annoying has been the untimely ver the top thoughts that course through my brain. I have sometimes had to tell these thoughts to leave, they are unwelcome here!!! I know this battle is not over, that it will be fierce, and to not be overconfident or prideful, because that complacency is when I have let my guard down in the past and failed miserably. So now I must persist in my perseverance to conquer my no PMO! I can't wait till I can ask the other successful married guys how they celebrated and what they did, what they do to not go down that path again, and how they broke their for lack of a better term new virginity, lol.... If I can do this so can you! Be willing to put yourself out there guys, find some support and go for it!!!
I stop pmoing for 2 months and I feel great more energy and confidence to get my thoughts out Cleary and I feel powerful smarter with more knowledge of myself and female women that I talk to about how I over come this struggle I once had for ten years but finally got a great amount of progress me talking to her and telling her about this helped me focus on relationships instead of just pleasures all time and enjoying myself in other way besides that . We had sex 11 times it was great I didn't think about the pornography movies once I had sex with her and I didn't have any problems getting erections with her because she is so beautiful she makes me food for breakfast washed my clothes for me and dinner on time every day I been staying over her house for the duration of my progress she doesn't have a laptop so I couldn't watch pornography in her home we watch funny movie e s together and scary movies too. On Netflix I think I'm in love with her and don't know when I want to marry her name is Erica she do is nursing for chop hospital and is a wonderful person we are the same age 31 but I am 3 months older than her we like going g to the beach and Orlando for the rides and turkey legs we have lots of exciting g stories I am very happy I meet her at my job. We will be going to Jamaica in July I can't wait to go so this is all so far o. My journey going g to be great.
Sounds like you have found a great woman, who understands your struggle and is willing to keep you on track. Keep going and stay focused!
Congratulations! This all sounds beautiful. Never forget you must first love yourself before you can love another. Happy future!
Congrats on the accomplishments and recognizing your feelings. As a married guy, what was your motivation for going 'hard mode'? Do you have a particular point when you'll know you're done with PMO and ready for sex with your wife?
My motivation is to completely rewire/reboot my thinking on women, including my wife. I want to be able to see her not as an outlet or to be used for my sexual gratification. I have been using porn for so long and see all women as just a body to be used. I even catch me looking at my wifes butt or boobs and not seeing her for who she is. I just "want that as@" Not that it is bad to desire my wife, but "that a33" could be any ones, hers is just the one I have at my disposal. So I know I will be done with hard mode, when I can view women, even those walking down the street not as objects, but as someones daughter, someones girlfriend someone else's wife. I don't want porn to have the control over my thoughts anymore. I am tired of it distorting my view on women's humanity! I am 46 days done, and yes it is hard, but I am liking the results so far!
thanks for taking the time to answer. It sounds like you have a good self-awareness of how you look at women. Another challenge is how could we ever expect our real-life partners to match up to the women in the porn available.
"don't want porn to have the control over my thoughts anymore. I am tired of it distorting my view on women's humanity!" You're doing great, mate! Thought I'd chime in here about the porn thoughts. I had them for about 9 months when I didn't have to. Silly me failed to separate my mind. I was not recognizing implanted thought from my own real thought, so the porn thinking went on and on. As soon as I understood that those were not my thoughts, everything changed, and they lost all power. Eventually they just stopped. I still objectify - my girl lol! I want her.
50 days down! 40 to go! Hard mode is no joke! I find myself extremely impatient to be with my wife, but know these past nearly 3 decades of decadence and self indulgence must be faced so I can be the man I need to be for my wife and my kids! And even once I get to 90, I plan on continuing to reject PMO and especially P. Hoping for my mind to be reset and clear so I see women and my wife as they truly are!
Sometimes you just have an overwhelming desire to c#m, I have been able to resist so far, but it is still so prevalent at times. I have had to learn how to change my thought patterns, or make sure I get busy doing something!! This past weekend has filled my mind with unexpected memories, as we went down to my Dad's lake house and his neighbor, who is at the same dock had his college age sons friend their. I was bombarded with college girls on the dock 6-8. As this was my first experience in almost 60 days with anything this provocative, my mind is doing its darndest to get me to fail.... These next few days will be paramount to my success. And I know that getting close to another 30 days, I might expect another wet dream, chichi could or could not be good....
Good job man. Don't let anything or anyone de-motivate you. It's tough but the reward is worth it. Also if someone could check my post out, it will be greatly appreciated. Good luck.
definitely, and there's so many angles of attack, a physical need, psychological need, the external stimuli. Mad respect for the progress you've made on Hard Mode!
