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30 plus year addiction...have hope

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Leo33, Mar 2, 2015.

  1. Mar 2, 2015 #1
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone. I am very impressed with the men and women of this site. You all are true warriors in your honesty and commitment to stop PMO or whatever u are struggling with. May God bless you all. I have learned so much just from reading posts the last two days. I am 2 days old on this site. I have a 30 plus year addiction to MO which started around age 13. I am now 44M straight. My addiction turned into PMO with the onset of the Internet around 1997. I have been hooked and have been trying to stop literally after every Fab since then. This thing is so I ingrained in me that it scares me to come out of it. But I know I must stop and I understand the necessity to stop. I want do stop in the worst way. It's my only hope...it drives me on every day and I am consumed with stopping PMO. I am married and have a wonderful wife and 4 great kids (one on the way). My wife knows of my addiction but she thinks I am all better now since my HUGE confession to her 4 years ago. I have not the heart to tell her I'm back to my old ways. Plus I'm scared to death to tell her about it again. I had not stopped MO for very long after my confession. I did stop using porn for about 2 years but the MO was still present. My longest stretch without MO is 19 days. That's from age 13...Since age 19 I have been determined to stop...I have failed thousands of times. You all give me hope once again. I have been mostly silent about this addiction my whole life and don't talk about it now which I know is fueling it inside me. I know that silence about the addiction keeps it going. So here I am with great hope and I consider myself very fortunate to have come here and meet you all. You are true warriors. May God bless you all..and now to get to work. I am very receptive of advice...so if any of you successful seasoned fapstronats can help me in any way I would be most grateful! Thank you all for reading.
     
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    #1
  2. Mar 2, 2015 #2
    UKagainstporn

    UKagainstporn Fapstronaut

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    Good luck bud. I have a similar story. Break those chains.
     
    UKagainstporn, Mar 2, 2015
    UKagainstporn, Mar 2, 2015
    #2
  3. Mar 2, 2015 #3
    A90

    A90 New Fapstronaut

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    Leo that's incredible! We'll do it together, all of us battling against the brain cycles in our mind that completely try to take away our regular enjoyment of life.

    What can you do to replace MO? Could you have your wife do it for you? I think replacing any time you might have alone with an appreciation journal for your wife and some time alone with her will be amazing. You should set up a schedule with her to help you replace your MO.

    Remember, it's easier to replace but harder to quit something!
     
    A90, Mar 2, 2015
    A90, Mar 2, 2015
    #3
  4. Mar 2, 2015 #4
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Thank u UK a d to u as well!
     
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    #4
  5. Mar 2, 2015 #5
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks A90 thats good advice...here's to ur recovery as well!
     
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    #5
  6. Mar 2, 2015 #6
    UKagainstporn

    UKagainstporn Fapstronaut

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    As a 38 year old male I have been addicted to PMO for many years. Starting like you at 13. I used PMO to deal with life stresses. I have wired my brain so that PMO numbs my anxieties, fears and emotions. However, it took over my life. The internet, like you, intensified the onset of an obsession or compulsion that has created a world that I am deeply unhappy with. I have found that being on this website is helping me to be honest with myself and more mindful in changing PMO in my life forever.

    Today I have learnt that a decision comes from the Latin to 'cut off'. I need to cut off my PMO. It seems though, that I often think that I make decisions, when in fact I am making preferences.

    I trust that your decision to stop PMO is successful. I think that you are like me and knowing that PMO no longer controls your life will bring much relief and sanity. This video has been helpful to me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzterc3NqeU
     
    UKagainstporn, Mar 2, 2015
    UKagainstporn, Mar 2, 2015
    #6
  7. Mar 2, 2015 #7
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks alot UK your words are encouraging...I'm learning so much from different people on here...I'm about to go for the 90 day hard mode...I just need a plan to follow when the cravings come on...I know it's gonna be tough but through this website there is so much support which I never had before. Thanks once again...Let's keep going forward with this thing.
     
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 2, 2015
    #7
  8. Mar 4, 2015 #8
    UKagainstporn

    UKagainstporn Fapstronaut

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    Leo33

    I hope all is well.
     
    UKagainstporn, Mar 4, 2015
    UKagainstporn, Mar 4, 2015
    #8
  9. Mar 4, 2015 #9
    Jim2015

    Jim2015 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Welcome, Leo. Let's join with you to overcome this thing. Your story is similar to mine, so I really feel your pain. Find a couple guys on here to be specific accountability partners with you, sending PMs back and forth to encourage and walk together. Set up a counter. Mine is one of the things that keeps me going. I don't want to see it reset. Also, start a journal and write everyday. I have a link to mine at the bottom. Also, find some good stuff to do...take a class, jog, workout, hike, paint, write, replace your bad stuff with good stuff. You can do it! Jim
     
    Jim2015, Mar 4, 2015
    Jim2015, Mar 4, 2015
    #9
  10. Mar 4, 2015 #10
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    THANKS UK 3 days and still going...had bad temptations last night but got thru them...Hope u are well too brother.
     
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    #10
  11. Mar 4, 2015 #11
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Jim I got the counter...Very good advice...u are right replacing bad stuff with good is key I believe...I we u are doing well, keep going!
     
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    #11
  12. Mar 4, 2015 #12
    Canisus

    Canisus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for sharing your story , will be rooting for you , I am 37 doing it for almost 20 years
     
    Canisus, Mar 4, 2015
    Canisus, Mar 4, 2015
    #12
  13. Mar 4, 2015 #13
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Canisus, I'll be rooting for u 2. We all need to stick together.
     
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 4, 2015
    #13
  14. Mar 4, 2015 #14
    Jim2015

    Jim2015 Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

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    Great! I can already see your progress! Every day is a step in the right direction.
     
    Jim2015, Mar 4, 2015
    Jim2015, Mar 4, 2015
    #14
  15. Mar 5, 2015 #15
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    On day 5 still going...
     
    Leo33, Mar 5, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 5, 2015
    #15
  16. Mar 5, 2015 #16
    TakeMyLifeBack

    TakeMyLifeBack Fapstronaut

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    Standing with you Leo33. Let's do a Lorena Bobbit on PMO! (sorry...had to go there...)
     
    TakeMyLifeBack, Mar 5, 2015
    TakeMyLifeBack, Mar 5, 2015
    #16
  17. Mar 5, 2015 #17
    Leo33

    Leo33 Fapstronaut

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    Takemylifeback...that's good one :)...let's do it!
     
    Leo33, Mar 5, 2015
    Leo33, Mar 5, 2015
    #17

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