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30 years old. way too old for this

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by findinglife, Aug 29, 2013.

  1. Aug 29, 2013 #1
    findinglife

    findinglife Fapstronaut

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    Hi. So I'm new and recently discovered this site, although I've been trying to stop looking at porn for about a year now. I've tried everything, trying to cut everything out that trips me up, but I keep falling back into it.

    Threw away entire James Bond DVD collection, as well as any movies that had any sexual imagery, e.g. X-Men, Game of Thrones., etc., deleted or threw away any saved porn, gave my smartphone to my pastor. I installed filtering software on my computers, and also setup open dns on the router. I have adblock installed, and turned off images completely in google chrome. At first I just got rid of video games with sexual images, but I decided I need to find out what to really fill my life with, and video games are not fulfilling at all, so I gave away all of them. For the first time in my life, I don't have any games.

    However, I work from home, on the computer. And I know enough about computers to disable any attempts I have to actually remove access. It's always in reach, and so the temptation becomes overwhelming after a week or two. I counter it with running and walks, and just force myself to leave the house, but it is really draining to fight it all the time.

    I'm way to old to be wasting my life. My reason to quitting is basically religious; I think it keeps me from God and I hate doing it. I always told myself it was normal, and not hurting anyone, but it's not true. Well, it is normal, but it's not harmless. It just makes me isolated from any real connections with people and takes my attention away from any activities that are actually fulfilling. I've tried many times, and usually fall within a few weeks. Anyway, my goal is to make it 90 days, and then forever. This is day 1.
     
    findinglife, Aug 29, 2013
    findinglife, Aug 29, 2013
    #1
  2. Aug 29, 2013 #2
    nofap 12333

    nofap 12333 Fapstronaut

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    Good luck. Your case seems particularly difficult as you work from home (on the comp no less). Be careful with the self hate... that can very well be a mechanism that leads you to masturbation rather than away from it.
     
    nofap 12333, Aug 29, 2013
    nofap 12333, Aug 29, 2013
    #2
  3. Sep 2, 2013 #3
    findinglife

    findinglife Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. It is really difficult. I'm so tired of fighting. Not giving up though.
     
    findinglife, Sep 2, 2013
    findinglife, Sep 2, 2013
    #3
  4. Sep 2, 2013 #4
    ejohnson

    ejohnson Fapstronaut

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    Dont give up, never give up. We can beat this thing and become the best men that we can be.
     
    ejohnson, Sep 2, 2013
    ejohnson, Sep 2, 2013
    #4
  5. Sep 4, 2013 #5
    TjsPret

    TjsPret Fapstronaut

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    I know what you feel because I used to work from home as well. It makes it a lot easier to go PMO when you're alone working. Especially if you have some frustration and/or procrastination time, that's an easy way to escape.

    What I did was find an office to share with other entrepreneurs and self-employed people. It really helped my productivity as I could not masturbate there.

    However, it did not really solve my addiction, just delayed the moments when I could fap.

    All in all, I think that if you can manage nofap while working from home, it will be more solid and you'll be even more proud of yourself. Good luck with your challenge and keep us updated!
     
    TjsPret, Sep 4, 2013
    TjsPret, Sep 4, 2013
    #5
  6. Sep 4, 2013 #6
    findinglife

    findinglife Fapstronaut

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    Heh that's true. I never considered that, just the hard part of doing it. It's like boot camp I guess. Thanks :)

    For awhile I had a couple other people over who worked from home too, and we all worked on our computers, but they got different jobs now. That was nice though while it lasted.
     
    findinglife, Sep 4, 2013
    findinglife, Sep 4, 2013
    #6
  7. Sep 4, 2013 #7
    Ulick Myers

    Ulick Myers Fapstronaut

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    I work from home too and initially that made it much more challenging to give up porn and masturbation. Before I started NoFap, I would regularly get strong urges around mid-afternoon, 3 o' clock or thereabouts. It wasn't unusual for me to stop work and look at porn. I would literally drop my trousers at my desk and start masturbating to orgasm. Then I would be faced with the tricky business of getting up from my chair and making my way to the toilet with my pants around my ankles, clenching the top of my cock so that I wouldn't spill sperm all over the floor. I often considered what my colleagues in the organisation, most of whom are office-based, would think of me if they knew what I was up to on company time. Or what if, in some nightmarish scenario, I was in an open plan office but forgot myself and commenced a PMO session in front of colleagues? It was thoughts like this that convinced me I had to deal with my problem.

    I would encourage you to stay focused, always remind yourself of the reasons you are doing this and ask yourself if you really want to go back to your old habits. I have reached 90 days+ and I never thought at the start it would be possible.
     
    Ulick Myers, Sep 4, 2013
    Ulick Myers, Sep 4, 2013
    #7

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