31 y/o man addict

Hi everyone, I'm happy to find such a website and community!

English is not my mother tongue, so please bear with my language mistakes.

At the beginning of my life, I was straight, but then I became homo. And I've been addicted to gay porn for the last 13 years, after a "friend" encouraged me to watch porn...

I've been trying to quit it for the last 11 years, but in vain. I could not resist more than a week or, more often that not, less. That's how I understood I was addicted. Only two times did I manage to withstand about 20 and 30 days of abstinence, but that was in very particular circumstances and that's too hard.

This addiction completely destroyed my life. I can't reach my goals. I'm always very tired, extremely stressed and I procrastinate a lot. Failing to abstain makes me feel so bad and incompetent! I lost much of my life to this addiction. It heavily disrupts my diet and sleep. I also suffer from:

• severe depression and dark thoughts from time to time,
• pretty severe anxiety,
• and PIED.

But something changed recently - I did something for that - and I think I can do it now!

So I'll try the Hard Mode, 90 days free of PMO. Starting tomorrow. And If I succeed, I will continue forever to abstain from PM, and try to help others!