34 year old dealing with this for years but found nofap

I like a cheeky bit of sci fi and I was watching x-men days of future past yesterday. (its an alright hollywood blockbuster but nothing special) Anyway, there is a poignant thread in the story where charles xavier is in a lot of emotional pain and so uses a special drug to switch his mind off which also switches off his special mutant power.

Inevitably, comes the scene where he has to try and use his special power again but cant cope with the demands. Wolverine blames the failure on charles being "rusty" but xavier says its nothing to do with that, it comes from the mind and heart. he then goes on to say i'm broken inside, I've lost hope.

That scene struck home with me. In the movie charles knows why he has lost hope but the thing with me is that I don't know why I have lost hope. I know my addiction is a contributing factor but I feel its no more than a drug i am using to medicate my life pain.

But, today by chance I was reading about a guy who did the nofap challenge for 90 days and has been off porn for a while and feels good about it. This gave me some hope. I then clicked the links at the bottom of the article and found this website and read a few threads. After hearing everyone stories and struggles I got more hope.

Im not saying i have had a revelation or dont feel pain anymore. I know that pain will come back. However, I feel secure being being involved with this.

Im going to go for the 90 day challenge. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.