36 Years Old - The Beginning (hopefully) of the EndFap

DeFapping Friends:

I was pleased to find information to this site in an article recently posted on Public Discourse (not "pubic" discourse, so no worries about following the link) - http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/10/10813/.

I have decided to make this my home online for the next week (before I start a new job on the 21st), to learn, talk, read, etc. So here I am, male, 36 years old, married with three children. I am a practicing attorney in Indiana and Michigan, in multiple areas. I like reading, writing, philosophy, theology, chess, and golf(occasionally - sometimes I don't enjoy it at all).

I have had fap issues since in college, when I was introduced to porn and it became somewhat ubiquitous in my surroundings and being the beginning of the internet age, in culture as well. However, porn was a regular fixture, not well hidden, in my house growing up, and my father and mother did little to hide it from their children. Therefore, I felt for a long time that it was normal and something that was okay to do in the dark, with consenting partner or alone. However, in my 20s, I converted to Roman Catholicism, and began to feel that my porn use was problematic. Now I am beginning to see signs of this recognition in the culture generally, resulting in very good discussion and in websites like this one, XXX Church, and the like. Despite my discomfort, I have had difficulty kicking the habit.

I believe my need for the porn springs from several sources. One, it feels good - let's be honest here. (It feels so good, in fact, that it may be considered an addictive activity. See, for instance, this article - http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/10/10846/.) Second, when life gets stressful (as mine has been in the past few months, years, decade), it is a quick relief. Third, when one's sexual relationship with a spouse (or for some, a girlfriend or boyfriend) is difficult or nonexistent, porn is a way to simultaneously "get revenge" without actually going out and having sex with another person, and at the same time, relieving sexual urges without the need to find another / better outlet.

So, that's my thinking, in a nutshell (I can talk longer, especially when paid to do so). I am happy to find this forum, and hope that it does good things for me.

--NoFapCat