Hi everybody! This is Ketherlonk, I'm a 39yo male and I've been using porn & masturbation (and more generally, any form of lust) to cope with life since I was 11. Porn use has poisoned my life in so many ways: hours wasted and productivity reduced; feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety; reduced ability to have relations with my wife, etc. The shame is even worse now that I have 2 young boys. In the past, my addiction has also led me to do things I'd never think I'd do, like watching porn in semi-public areas (like a remote corner of a library) and stalking. I've tried to quit before but have never been successful. But I was pretty much always only trying on my own. My hope is that this forum will provide connection with other "fapstronauts" and accountability to help me stay the course. I am also more than happy to provide encouragement to others! Especially hard will be dealing with the urges that always come after the first couple days. I'm curious to know what y'all do to get past those urges and not relapse. Anyway, I am opting for PM/standard mode (i.e. will still have relations with my wife), and the 90-day challenge first. I am at day 0 today. I'm not quite sure yet how to use this forum but I guess I'll figure it out over time! Thanks for reading -- peace out, brothers and sisters.
Hi @Ketherlonk and welcome, great you found us and joined. I am certain you will figure out over time how to use this forum. And when it comes to passing urges and not relapse ... well ... it takes time, more so a clear plan and determination, perseverance, courage, persistence and faith, trust in yourself, hang in there, no matter what. Recovery is not a linear process. We may stumble and slip, fall and crash. But one think we are not allowed to do: Quit. That's a no no. I worked the Twelve Steps, do Vipassana and have an accountability partner here and recovery buddies. And still I did many "laps of honor" which is a nicer way to put it . But to be honest, some were real relapses. Crashes. But from all I could learn. I don't want to make this too long, so, again, great you're here. Keep going, keep growing. Stay strong and go for love and liberation, be a free man.
Hi @Spontifex ! I was in a 12-step SA group a couple years ago when I was living in a different city, but I never made a real effort to connect with others (and never got past Step 1 in terms of working the steps). I think that is why I never got any real sobriety. Thanks for taking the time to write, and thanks for the encouragement. I will take it one day at time.
