Hi, I have finally found this site as I have been struggling with PM since the age of 15. I stumbled across magazines at that time and it was electric to my mind. It was like a drug that totally excited me. Since then I have had a love / hate relationship with PM, especially as I grew up in a Christian home and do want to live a Christian life. So for over 20 years the longest time I have not masturbated would be 3 months or so which has damaged parts of my life and soul (you can just feel the numbing effect on so many levels). Nobody talks about the issue and I know other men struggle the same but we just put our masks on. My addition moved on from magazines to computer as the internet kicked in, its been even easier to access Porn and destroy myself even quicker. I am a married man with a great wife and 3 great kids and many times and am amazed I haven't been caught or blown up my marriage with my addition to porn and masturbation - I want to be rid of it for the long term. I can't keep genuine friends, I can't concentrate, my head is constantly in a FOG and cant focus. Its killed my capacity to follow my faith with genuineness. I cant be real with people and don't look to establish connections with people - I makes me antisocial but realize I lave lost so much time to do worthwhile things in my life. I have tried many times to stop but I know I DONT have the strength to do this. I know that for sure as I fail too easily. I look forward to being challenged to stop for 90 or more days and look forward to the process of getting my life back
Welcome and congrats on finding the courage to join Nofap. This is a wonderful community and plays a major part in my recovery from the horrible addiction to PMO. Together we conquer PMO forever.
Thanks NewLife101, I am encouraged and more determined than ever to conquer this one... I saw that you have a counter on the bottom of your post that details the number of days clean (it seems to come and go though). How do I start and obtain one like this? Thanking you.
I got my counter here; after you create your counter then paste it in your signature. I have noticed that sometimes my counter doesn't show up; I don't know what that's about. The counter is a good motivator for me.
hi kdj, Welcome to the site. You have a great goal; work a little at a time. A day at a time or even, an hour at a time if it gets tough. Just keep going.
