Hi 45 male from sweden with wife and two kids. Where to start. Since i was 13 i don't think i have ever had a pause of more then 7 days in M. In the beginning it was just from imagination and magazines. Lately porno movies and of course now internet. I think i use M as a stress relief in life. The side effects are getting stronger in the sense that i need longer and more of porn to get to the finish line. I am also getting more sex frustrated with my wife if she doesn't want to have sex. Notice how i keep on looking at young girls more and more and start to feel like an "ugly old man". So time to do something about it and i have never tried before. I think i will go for the normal mode refraining from PM but still having sex ~2 month with my wife. Guess i will be heavy effected by the chaser effect as you describe it so need to find some friends on the forum that can help me when it gets tough. 32 years of habit shall be hard to change Thanks to the nofap guys that started it. Anyone can help me get in contact with guys in my situation would be appreciated since i am a new started. Cheers
43 2 daughters one granddaughter addicted since 12 to 14 don't remember the exact day. You can do this. Us old timers have life experience. We have tools that the youngens can't draw on. We also have finances if we get stuck we can reach out to a counselor to get unjammed. You can do this. Be intentional. I developed a plan. I walked my plan out intentionally because I knew that I knew that pmo was no longer for me. You can do this. You can get after the different components to your fight. Around day 40 the battle started getting easier for me. So have a plan to keep busy at least until then. The chaser runs me ragged for about a day and a half. I found that in the in between time I can completely keep my thoughts away from sex. I've always felt like I've needed o. I do not need it any longer. It is a very empowering feeling. I have better eye contact. More confidence and generally feel stronger. Welcome aboard.
Hey Xeno. Thanks encouragement. The more i read about the more fascinating topic it is. Just watch the movie about the kick Dopamin gives and we build up a craving for. Think my lack of self control goes back to the hunting for dopamin kicks. Once you understand this is easier to accept and fight it i think. May i ask you or if you can guide me to a thread discussing sexlife with your partner after you decide to reboot but still have sex with your partner. How often to do it? Better to decide like once a week on a fixed day? i have told her i will change my sex life so a good start at least and she is onboard. Again some guidance how other guys/couples have manage would be great to know. Thanks
I haven't seen a question re this. But would check relationships. The longer you can go within reason the better. I'm targeting once ever 2 to 3 weeks. For me the longer the better between o. But on day 130 ish I can turn my sex drive down or off even after being aroused. I am controlling the old noggin. A lot of folks just try to abstain from pmo. I find that controlling my thoughts is the best tool. If you don't allow yourself to think about sex then you can basicly turn it off for a while. Now I sat down with my spouse who has very low sex drive by the way. And said, I'd like you to drive the schedule. But around 2 1/2 weeks I can tell it's getting about time. Just communicate with her regularly and at a time when intimacy is not possible. Learn about her learn what her needs are and help her. Discuss sex and things like that away from the bedroom so it's a safe topic and not just a guilt trip on her. But early on the longer you can go the more you will have to control your mind. The more you control your mind the more you will be in charge of you. I'm so much more in control of me then ever before. You can do this. In the end though get after learning about what pushes you to pmo. Deal with that. Get control of your thoughts and the reset of the battle is more academic. Survive the first 40 days and implement and exercise the old noggin. Google mental focus exercises and the like. Add a bunch of new activity and habits day one through day 40 you got this. Crush it.
