Hi everyone. I'm a 49 year old British male with a porn addiction. For the first time in a very long time I've made it through a few days without viewing porn and masturbating. I first got into porn in my mid teens, around 16, when I purchased my first porn magazines from my local newsagents. Being 6'2" in height, the guy behind the counter didn't question my age and sold me the mags... And thus, began my slide into the world of porn addiction. I started dating girls and lost my virginity the following year. My early dating years followed a regular pattern. I'd get a girlfriend, date her for 5,6,7 months then the relationship would end and I'd be single for 3 or 4 months until I got a new girlfriend. While I was in relationships I didn't feel the need to peruse any pornographic material and would often dispose of my magazine collection, which only amounted to around 6 or 7 mags at any one time. However, when I became single, within a week, I would go and purchase another 6 or 7 top-shelf magazines from the newsagents. While single, I would go clubbing, with my friends, up central London... and this is the pattern my life followed. During my twenties all of my friends got into serious relationships and, one by one, they all settled down and most got married. With married life came children and mortgages, and an end to clubbing. My last relationship ended when I was around 30 years old and I soon found myself in a little bit of a sticky-fix. Suddenly I was a single guy with no friends to go out with, thus, no pulling women in night clubs or bars. Up to this point I considered my porn 'habit' to be a very mild one. A few times a week, I would view my material while masturbating. The internet would soon change that! I stopped buying mags and instead would browse free porn on the net and, slowly but inevitably, the amount I consumed grew and grew, though my tastes remained the same. Coming from soft-core magazines I always preferred pictures over videos and only ever consumed solo girl and girl-on-girl material. I never liked seeing 'dick' in porn. Fast forward to today and I'm still single (almost 19 years now) and haven't laid with a woman for 12 years. The last time was a 1-night-stand with an ex-ex-ex-girlfriend. Prior to the Covid pandemic I could find myself viewing porn on my computer and masturbating once or twice a day. Since the global lockdown and having so much free time to fill (I'm currently unemployed), my habit has increased dramatically and I now find myself masturbating over porn pics numerous times a day. Basically my days have been reduced to playing PC games, watching Netflix, a looking at porn. I decided something had to change, and it had to start with kicking my porn addiction. I spent some time carrying out research on the internet. I sighed up with reddit and joined the r/NoFap and r/pornfree subreddits and purchased 'Your Brain on Porn' by Gary Wilson. The biggest step was shredding my porn folder from my hard drive. That was a really hard thing to do. It contained over 15,000 images of beautiful girls displaying their beautiful vaginas... Bye-bye girls... Bye-bye vaginas... Damn it. Why am I'm soooo, head-over-heels, in love with vaginas??? Anyhow, with that all said and done, my plan for the future is to stop looking at porn, stop masturbating and try to get a new girlfriend... And get a job! I'm considered to be an good looking guy, with a nice personality, so there's still hope for me... If you got this far, thanks for reading. I just wanted to introduce myself to the community and tell a little of my back-story. Anyway... Onwards and upwards to a better life.
So much of your story resonates so deeply with my own. Age, location, general story and history, ambitions, intentions, and so on. We have a lot in common, for that there is no doubt. Thanks for being so honest. It's made me think about how honest I am with myself and how I will shape my truth through the words I use to make me feel better about my lot, as I try and take the edge off my truth. But that's futile, as truth is not something that can be played with, or manipulated. It just is what it is. Anyway, you've been a huge eye opener for me today, so... BIG THANK YOU! And welcome to Nofap!
Hey man. You're not alone. UK and 40s here too. I just relapsed and feel awful. We can do this, brother.
