50 days no PMO. what is real success ?

Today has been a special day for me. I am at day 50 no PMO. As I said in other thread I try do not give too much importance to counting days. I took a decision. I had a journal where I wrote my feelings ten years ago, talking about fetish on PMO, I didn't know it was an addiction, I thought to be strange, I thought I was the only one to PMO. So I was ashamed and had no friends. I have been terrified about that journal for years, if someone cuold read something on that and know this side on me. But I had never the courage to trash it. Today I can say I feel healed. I don't feel anymore strange. I am walking in rebooting, and I know I am doing it.My life is changed, I have many friends who love me, I graduated, I am doing karate, I am choosing how to direct my life. I am learning to listen to my emotions , so there is no space for PMO. i took that journal I destroyed it and so I gave a big scream to free myself from every fear I had. I am not afraid anyone could know about me, I know who i am really, noone can judge me. For the first time after years I feel free, i feel i am healing from years of this terrible addiction. the real success is neither to take that journal and destroy it but to decide to rule my life as I dream

 

thanks