1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

91 days

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by reedman, May 17, 2015.

  1. reedman

    reedman Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Greetings, Fapstronauts,

    I write today on the occasion of my 91st clean day, hopefully to impart the kind of inspiration that was so graciously provided to me by others who returned from the depths of porn addiction to tell the tale.

    As with all recoveries I've read about, it took a lot of perseverance, in my case over many years. My addiction to internet porn took off in the mid-1990s. In some ways I've been lucky because it didn't hit me until my late 20s, after I had already experienced sex and healthy relationships with women. But it took a long, long time before I faced up to the fact that I had a serious problem, in part because on some level I knew I had no idea how to deal with it. It wasn't until 2002 that I opened up to my then-girlfriend and a therapist that it was seriously out of control and messing up my life.

    But that didn't mean I could find a solution. Even knowing about the problem, I went on with my life, sometimes dealing with it pretty well, other times really sinking into serial binging. Getting married, having a child, and having a career cut down substantially the time available for fapping, but over the past 5 or 6 years it often erupted into any spare time that was available. I hated the way porn made me look at and think about women because it clashed with the respect I felt at root for women in general, and especially for the women in my life, both family and friends. This caused serious depression, feelings of worthlessness, self-loathing, etc.

    I found NoFap a year ago last March, and built up streaks of about 50 days, then 40, but I couldn't seem to beat that, and then I couldn't seem to get past 4 or 5 days for a long time.

    What finally pulled me out of it was NoFap Academy. The program is extraordinarily powerful. Perhaps the single most significant thing that really brought about a deep change was simply the preparation and commitment to changing my life that Mark demands from people in the program. Just physically writing down “I promise to quit doing porn and live a more awesome life”, then signing and dating it, was much more significant than it seemed at the time. All the other tools the course teaches you, such as the willpower process, methods of raising self-awareness, learning to observe how your mind works, really won't get you anywhere unless they spring from the deep, well-considered commitment that Mark demands of us when we embark on the course.

    It's so powerful that it's changed several other things in my life. I already had the fulfilling disciplines (mainly music), that the course requires us to develop to take up the time that becomes available after stopping porn use. But it's deeper than simply doing it to avoid doing porn. It's now become difficult to quit working out, to quit practicing music, and I want to make it at least as difficult to stop doing these things as it was to quit doing porn when I was at my worst.

    For a very, very long time (well over a decade!) I seriously believed that this problem would always be with me, that I simply had to accept the porn use as something that would never go away, and to simply deal with it as best I could. I CAN NOT BELIEVE that I've actually gone over 90 days without fapping! And the longer it goes on, the easier it gets! (I must credit my wonderful wife with my hard-mode commitment, she has waited for the 90 days because she knows how important this was for my personal development, and ultimately for our relationship and for our son.)

    So to anybody who feels like they're in a hole so deep there can't possibly be a way to escape, know that THIS IS NOT TRUE!! You CAN fix this. It will require a very deep and strong commitment to altering your life, and you will come out of it a stronger, more human person living more in harmony with yourself, your friends, and your loved ones.

    Finally, I STRONGLY encourage EVERYONE to enroll in the NoFap Academy course. Yes, it cost a little cash, but man, in the long run, if you stick with the program and really commit to improving your life, it will come to seem like you got a giant gift for yourself with virtually no monetary investment. The real investment is the work that you put into yourself.

    Good luck and more power to us all,
  2. rishabhv66

    rishabhv66 Fapstronaut

    Great post. I am struggling too. But this time very determined.
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  3. Nickita1996

    Nickita1996 Fapstronaut

    Yeah, your post is like breath of fresh air in the deep shit in which i am now
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  4. Piotr

    Piotr Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your story. I was realy motivating to read it.
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  5. TemporaryUsername3892

    TemporaryUsername3892 Fapstronaut

  6. Buzzltyr

    Buzzltyr Fapstronaut

    Congratulations! That is an awesome achievement!
  7. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

    May you have more and more happiness. :)
  8. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

    I am in a similar boat to you and I agree it gets easier.
    We need to keep up what we have learnt and build on that :)
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.
  9. PotentLife

    PotentLife Fapstronaut

    I love this simple attitude of transferring the strong bond from PMO to your "top-line" activities (as they'd say in SLAA). You must be learning enormous amounts about motivation, which is useful in all areas of life. You've given me an extra incentive to check out the NoFap Academy course, which I probably need since I've been going through a slump, not noticing many tangible benefits at this stage in my abstinence, and driven by impatience, grief and temptation.

    BIG congratulations, Reedman, on going this far. Here is some applause.


    I hope you just keep going from here into a vastly happier and more fulfilled existence, friend!
    berlincalling234567 likes this.
  10. reedman

    reedman Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Thanks for all your words! One of my goals in recovery was to be able to come back and provide help to the next guys who come along, and I didn't realize how amazing it would be to see some of your comments. I actually teared up!

    To those of you still working in the trenches on this insidious problem, keep at it! Every time you think you've failed because you built up a clean streak and then relapsed, know that IT WAS NOT IN VAIN. My current success is really not something that happened in the last three months, it's been years and years in the making. Every previous attempt at quitting taught me something, improved me, and prepared me for the next time. Hopefully you guys won't need the decade-plus it took for me to beat it. So again, I offer you the absolute best advice I can offer: enroll in NoFap Academy at the earliest opportunity. Get ready to face up to some serious shit and be prepared to do some major self-examination. It will be hard, but if it was easy nobody would have this problem in the first place. You are worth every scrap of work you put into yourself.

    Peace out,
  11. littlemonk

    littlemonk New Fapstronaut


    thats truely great man....
    on_a_mission4truth likes this.

Share This Page