After 11 months without P and M

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Barnabas_, May 15, 2019.

  1. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    At the end of today I will finish 6 months.

    I will write a few sentence about last month tomorrow.

    A Word of God that has inspired me today:
    "Hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil." (1 Thessalonians 5:21b-22).
     
  2. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Another month passed without porn and masturbation. I am also without orgasm/semen retention for 44 days (learning to have sex in a marriage without orgasm).

    Last 30 days have showed me that:

    - under big stress, pressure, aslo when I neglect rest, sleep - there would be temptations, big ones to masturbate or finish this stress with youtube and masturbation. "For whatever one sows, that will he also reap" (Letter to Galatians 6:7). To much work, definitelly to much, not enough sleep for a few days 2 weeks ago plus stress related to the fact that my mother went to the hospital and she was feeling very bad for one month. Youtube at that time apeared again to be dangerous for me when being under big stress, in the future probably I will not use it at all. I will need to learn from this lesson - take care more of sleep and rest and balance in life.

    - Fortunatelly thanks to my God, Jesus Christ (praying to Him and reading the Bible daily) I am still free and for the first time in around 20 years free from porn and masturbation for 6 months. I need to rely on Jesus strenght. Do what I can do, but additionally asking for His streghts, guidance and directions and protection.
    Jesus said: "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING."

    - When it comes to further benefits of recovery: I feel stronger, more decisive and more firm, am able to control anger much, much better than 6 month ago (inability to deal with anger and hurting people because of that used to be my achilles heel). For a few years I was aggressive towards my wife. One of the huge effect of being free from PMO is big increase in self control/self discipline.

    - Discovering more and more the positive efects of semen retention, which is quite new to me. I have come across this thanks to this site.

    So the next goal=challenge: is another month, meaning being free 210 days. If completed, another 30 days, etc. One day at a time.

    Have a good day and stay clean - one day at a time bros.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2019
    Homo Deus likes this.
  3. RastkoV

    RastkoV Fapstronaut

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    Mate hey, can You help me with one simple thing...
    Size of genitals...
    It will return after xy months to original size?
    Hard PMO 15y time
     
  4. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Hello Rastko,

    In my case size of genitals are the same as the were before, meaning no change in size, still original size.
     
  5. RastkoV

    RastkoV Fapstronaut

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    great, cause my shrank like a teenager girl :D

    Majority says that they will increase, crossing my fingers for that to happen :/
     
  6. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Maybe it increased slightly. However, in my case the most important changes are:

    - increse of energy, peace in the heart, handling much better difficult emotions (like anger, fear, anxiety, rejection), higher self esteem, much relationship with others and better self discipline. And above all: deeper spiritual life as a Christian in terms of prayer and reading the Bible.

    Have a good day and stay clean brother.
     
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  7. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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  8. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Thanks to God - day 193.
     
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  9. Homo Deus

    Homo Deus Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for sharing, it is an inspiring story!

    And I understand about youtube, I find it very triggering too... The problem is that we are living in a sexist world, a Coca-Cola commercial is not safe anymore to watch, going outside it is not safe cuz of half-naked girls, not to mention social platforms, billboards, gyms, movies... and that is why I think this is the most difficult addiction. I believe that it is easier to get off heroin instead of this.
     
  10. RastkoV

    RastkoV Fapstronaut

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    And yes here we gooo with flatline
    My homie is not dead, he is gone, just not for good i hope.
    No sadness just no dick syndrome
    Tell me this is just a mind trick, pleeeaseeee
     
  11. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    It's diffucult, you are right. But still possible. In my case I was unable to give up porn for nearly 20 years. I tried and tried on my own strenghts for years, but could not do it. Probably the longest break was around 14 days.

    All has changed when I decided to be the follower of Christ a few years ago, meaning reading the Bible daily, praying and being amoung other Christians. God started to cleanse me step by step. Some time later, in 2015 stopped watching porn because of that, in January this year stopped masturbating. I rely on Jesus, He is the one who gives me strenght to be free from P and M.
     
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2019
  12. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    I have experienced flatline too. It was important for me to know that it might happen and also that this is temporary.
     
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  13. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Day 202. Last 2 weeks were a bit tough in terms of summer season and our holiday, going to the beach. Still free from porn and masturbation. What helped me again was prayer, asking Jesus for help and protection, reading the Bible.

    I am weak, need God's grace every day to stay clean. Everything usually starts with my eyes. Once my friend told me:
    "You are not respnsible for the first look, but for the second (and third, fourth, etc) - you are responsible."

    If I keep on looking at the woman longer than a few (5-6) seconds, then I know I will be in trouble as this images will be returnining to my mind later on.

    Apart from that I know that this is unfair towards my wife.

    Job said: "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman." (Job 31:1).
    I have learnt this verse by heart and it helps a lot.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2019
  14. testwarz

    testwarz Fapstronaut

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    Out of curiosity - why is youtube such a trigger?? All I watch are cat and kitten videos - very very relaxing
     
  15. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    In my case I know from the past videos, names I watched on youtube, that was erotic. I was masturbating while watching this, don't want to come back to this pattern again. While being under big stress, there is usually a temptation to go to youtube and "release" this stress. I know this is false "promise" of feeling better.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2019
  16. testwarz

    testwarz Fapstronaut

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    Ah I see - so sort of adult you-tube content - well thats basically in the porn category so def out!! Awesome work on the 202 days - the full year approaches !!!!
     
  17. Barnabas_

    Barnabas_ Fapstronaut

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    Yes. Thanks Testwarz. Good job on nearly 2 months freedom from PMO. For years I was unable to achieve this.
     
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  18. VictoryIsOurs

    VictoryIsOurs Fapstronaut

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    I have really embraced Christian music and sermons.That is the one of main reasons I am on day 32.Let's keep going.
     
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  19. VictoryIsOurs

    VictoryIsOurs Fapstronaut

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    I ca
    I can't believe what I am reading. This has been my life. Very close intimate relationship with God and total reliance on the holy spirit.
     
  20. dustyastronaut

    dustyastronaut Fapstronaut

    Great post, thanks :) It is super encouraging!
     
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