Already have a girlfriend!

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Thegoldenmunk, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. Thegoldenmunk

    Thegoldenmunk Fapstronaut

    Hey guys,i need your help!
    My problem now is my obsession of other Girls besides my girlfriend.
    The thing is that i started this jorney 2016 august,and changed my Life totally because of NoFap!
    I got my self better selfestem and at last i got a girlfriend for the first time in forever.
    My addicition towards watching porn is out of my head,but what i have noticed is that is was way more powerful and stronger when i didnt ejaculate for a long while.
    Now when i have my girlfriend and we see each every 2 weeks,we have sex almost every night,this is alright and i dont feel that is bothering me,but that week we dont see each other i start to get horny and obsessed about fucking other Girls.

    I just recently was out running and there is this blonde girl and this is the second time i see here,and i cant get here out of my head,im fantazising about the way to fuck her hard,and we have said hi to each other.
    All i want to do is to jerk off and fantazize about this girl.
    On the other side i have really good looking girl who i truly love,but sometimes my animalistic behaviour kicks in and i cant Control it.

    I dont know but what i know is that my urges is stronger when i have ejaculated after having sex with my girlfriend,as same as it was Before when i watched porn and the urges came back! But i kept Control today and just edged and didnt ejaculate to my fantazizez about this girl!

    I WILL QUIT Fapstronaut

    It's natural however you have real sex and a lot of it I wouldn't pursue this girl when you have more than enough pussy at home
  3. Nmhj

    Nmhj New Fapstronaut

    Since you have sex everyday, that will save you from porn for most. Just get your mind empty and not think about it. I know it's hard, and I'm just starting today on this site.
  4. Commited2Health

    Commited2Health Fapstronaut

    You are constantly feeding the dopamine monster. So, your 'normal' level is now through the roof from having lots of sex with your girlfriend. So, when you are away from her you need the next fix. Enter the blonde runner. This could be the start of a sex addiction just taking the place of a porn addiction.

    I recommend seeing women for more than sex objects. "Obsession" is a word you used to describe someone you only see running. Not someone you have fallen for based on anything but her looks.

    That said, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I've had the same issue before. My girlfriend and I now practice Tantra massage, more sensual and less sexual. It helps. Also, if you don't already, ask her about her day, find things to bond with other than sex. The looking at other people, especially on the beach here, was the trigger for my latest PMO and thus my resetting my counter. I understand, just be careful and try to focus more on your life, career, hobbies.. anything else. You don't want to be a 'slave' to the dopamine monster. GOOD LUCK!!
    Thegoldenmunk likes this.
  5. samnf1990

    samnf1990 Fapstronaut

    You can't stop your subconscious from noticing attractive women, but you can choose how to respond to these thoughts. Ratherthan entertaining these impulses and indulging in fantasy, remind yourself of how your own gf wants to fulful your needs, and any random one you see in the street will have no interest in doing so. Trample the thoughts, dnt let yourself fantasise. If u fantasise then u will escalate to M (you already have. Sure you didnt O, but your conscious mind made the decision to indulge in these damaging thoughts and behaviours. If u dnt want these distractions and triggers, stop after the initial thought. Eg "oh look, an attractive woman, now time to go about my day. Maybe I will distract myself with exercise, go on nofap or ring my Mum" etc, rather than "attractive women exist, therefore I must M"
  6. Commited2Health

    Commited2Health Fapstronaut

    Right on!
  7. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

    It actually sounds to me like you may have replaced pmo with your girlfriend and that's what is causing the issue. The only thing I can say is that you need to start thinking see sex as not just a release and dopamine hit not an imtimate connection. From what you describe it sounds like having sex daily is more of a release than intimacy. Maybe focus on having the sex less but when you do focus on intimacy and spend some of the time you used to spend having sex talking and doing things outside of bed together. Honestly it's hard to tell if what you are describing with reference to other women is you replacing pmo (many addicts develop an ogling problem after stopping pmo there are a few threads on this) or normal human behavior. I think it's normal to look it's what you do about it that matters and if you do this when your partner is not around chances are you do it when she is and don't know you are.
    Thegoldenmunk likes this.

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