always feel like i will never attract a girl in my life

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Abzu, Dec 13, 2019.

  1. Abzu

    Abzu Fapstronaut

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    so i am 24 and never had a gf, girls never seem to be interested in me. I didn't have any girl as a friend at any point of my life after growing up. I do want to remain virgin until marriage as i believe sex before marriage is immoral and sinful so live-in relationship is not my thing.

    On facebook or any social media site, all girls ignore me. I added alot of them years ago when i was desperate but none of them ever talk to me or react to my posts. I am so sick of being lonely. I also feel law of attraction is BS because so many girls fancy jerks and later on suffer in their hands.

    I also feel i don't attract good things, even here on this forum or facebook because today a weird guy messaged me though originally his message made sense but what he replied after i responded to him was quite bizarre. I also had someone improperly quoting me.

    Few months back a guy on facebook who looked depressed (assuming from DP) kept messaging about adding him on ps3 even after i told him that i sold it last year so i got annoyed and blocked him.

    Two days back a girl replied to my comment on a page and referred to me as small dick after her explanation in bottom line that made me furious and i verbally abused her by sending message and blocked her. Although her argument wasn't wrong but bottom line did hurt me but personally feel i got bit hyper there. I was opposing girls wearing short clothes and she didn't like it as most girls usually do these days.

    I am so frustrated of getting negative attention and it really hurts my feelings and i wonder what i am doing wrong that's making people behave in hostile way around me or totally neglect me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
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  2. scratching my head right now and wondering if i can relate. cause i have the same problem, but i attract ugly girls that i don’t want, if that’s your type of thing, you can take them. one girl that was attracted to me wasn’t hideous, but at the same time she was a tomboy and also an illegal age for me anyways. but now since she has longer hair nowadays she looks atleast better (ain’t saying that as a compliment though)
     
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I am in the same situation. I am neither good looking or socially normal. Most people like me because I am funny, but the second I am not making people laugh, everyone get annoyed by me. I suppose there is no point to be with a buffoon who has no jokes left.

    But don't worry, we will be able to attract a girl eventually, because











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  4. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    First ... pessimism and self-pity are not going to lead you to anything good ... so ... I would recommend you to stop thinking about what things go wrong in your life unless it's for thinking how to fix it. Focus on the positive things that surely you have in your life and inside yourself.

    I passed all my teens and early twenties feeling sad and pessimistic about girls. I wanted to have a girlfriend but all the girls I met only wanted me as a friend. I never considered myself a handsome guy so, because no girl felt anything, I got to think I was ugly and worthless of being loved. The thing is ... you know ... with low selfsteem ... it's really hard to get someone to love you. If you want to be loved, you need to start by loving yourself and keeping your esteem and self-image the higher the better.

    I didn't have any success with girls until I lost a lot of weight (with that, my self-image improved a lot). Then, all of a sudden, in one fucking year ... 4 girls felt something ... 2 of them had even a crushed on me (don't ask, I still don't understand it either). And shortly after ... I met the one that now, more than 17 years later ... is my wife. By the way, all of that happened when I was 25 but maybe it would have never happened had I kept on my pessimistic line of thought and self-pyting me. Do you know what I regret the most from that age? The time I wasted being sad and not fully enjoying my life (time passes anyway, whether you're feeling happy or sad).

    Regarding to your "negative attention" issue ... well, you shouldn't give it much thought. Most people will never like you and will never share your same ideas, that's a fact. If you can't stand negative feedback from them ... maybe it's better to restrain from giving openly your opinion to people you don't even know (and you shouldn't care about them).

    Remember ... positive thinking ... ALWAYS!
     
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  5. This post is pretty true. I learned trough cognitive therapy that whenever you feel down you should try positive thinking. Fake it until you make it. You mention the law of attraction. I think it is all in your head. If you attune your mind to negativity then you will only see the negative stuff and completely ignore the good stuff. Your mind needs to switch poles. It is like a magnet. Start attracting good stuff instead.
     
  6. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

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    I think you should try and direct message some of those girls you are feeling on fb
     
  7. Try completely forgetting about your desires and try ignoring all the girls. Time will come they will all love to be with you.
     
  8. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    I can talk well with people, but it’s all about feeling that spark. And for it to be mutual. I’ve never had that, and that’s what worries me.
     
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  9. HornyChang

    HornyChang Fapstronaut

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    See with law of attraction you attract what you feel. If you feel depressed all the time, hate your life, think your ugly, desperate, etc. You attract that life style, no girl attraction, lonely, and no girls message you back. Think about what a baller has and feels, he doesnt send messages to random girls hoping that they will reply. He goes out being confident, being funny, positive, and happy. His energy attracts girls because he know hes a baller.

    This is a example of how you are not attracting girls. You believe they dont like you. Imagine how it feels to have all the girls want you. You would feel like im a fking baller, im sexy af, feeling confident. If you are able to persist those feelimg and not revert back to negative depressive ways you will get what you want. Thats how loa works.

    Those girls that attract assholes, manifest bad dudes to them because some sort of subconcious negative aspect to them like daddy issues. The same way they attract bad dudes, you can attract the perfect woman to your needs. Imagine how it would feel to find the love of your life. You would feel full of love, happiness joy. Remeber loa attracts what you feel. Thats why you are stuck where you are at.
     
  10. javier chomer

    javier chomer Fapstronaut

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    I am also quite lonely. But mine is kinda complicated. Firstly i kinda being most of the time inside my house, due to video game addiction. I managed to stop playing video games 25 days ago. Also been rejected a lot. My main problem for getting rejected is that i dont work, and i am 42 years old, barely worked in my life. I consider also quite immature. I kinda build a lot of hate towards women due to being rejected most of my life, which i think was cause spending more time with video games and tv, etc than with people. I had periods were i used to be called disgusting. I am even having problems being outside of my house, i get triggered just by being near skinny women on the street who wear skimpy clothes. Also i kinda usually dont talk to people, and barely have 1 or 2 friends . And i am extremely shy.

    Unlike you i dont care about having sex before marriage, or i dont care how the girl dress like you. Also i kinda dont use social media at all, except to post art in instagram, or stopped using social media or if i have facebook, i barely check it . Social media and girls makes me extremely anxious, so i dont pay attention to that.

    you said no sex till marriage, you sound like a religious person, perhaps you could meet people at your church. You could concentrate on trying to make friends I suppose, if the people are rude to you, then they are not worth your time . Also its best to get to know people in person. Social media is really bad for socializing, people are quite fake in there.
     
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  11. I have experienced that spark a few times. Always at 17+ days of Nofap. I have yet to experience it unless having a good streak going.
     
  12. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    Even though I always liked talking to people, I never had many friends either. In fact, there was a period in my life in which I barely went out because ... well ... because I didn't have anybody to go with. That year was bad but also good for me. That was the year my life started changing because I focused on myself and started losing weight, studying more, ... . Now, I don't have any friends, only my wife. But it's more than enough, I speak with my colleagues at work, with people I don't know while walking the dog, ... and for me ... it's fine.

    Some say that there's an epidemic of loneliness in this world and maybe that be true. But remember that loneliness is a mental state, it's no about being alone, but about feeling alone. Try to get new hobbies, get out of your comfort zone, meet people, ... break the cycle of negative thinking!
     
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  13. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    Dude, the only times I attracted any girls were when I wasn't expecting nor desiring it. Seriously, I was never able to intentionally make any girl feel attracted by me, but it happened sometimes when I wasn't expecting it.
    My suggestion is: focus in being a happy, positive and overall better person.
    Try to see what you have to improve and work on it, but don't worry about girls. Girls will come when you least expect. Focus on being happy and a better man.

    Good luck
     
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  14. kio_actualized

    kio_actualized Fapstronaut

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    Quoting coz I believe this part deserves emphasis.

    I totally agree with you.
    I don't think we need many friends. We only need GOOD friends. We should feel grateful if we have someone we can trust. Doesn't have to be a group, a single person is already a big deal IMO.
     
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  15. Abzu

    Abzu Fapstronaut

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    i don't do that either, i am not so desperate.
    I don't like annoying people with one sided conversation.
    I generally avoid talking to people when i don't feel the connection.
     
  16. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Indeed. Texting is like this. I’m eager to talk and get to know them. But overtexting is a bad idea and makes you look bad. But waiting for that reply when you really want one kills you inside.
     

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