Anyone else feel like this?

Hey, I understand how you feel about your current situation. When I graduated from college, I felt as if I let my whole life pass right by me. I work now, full time actually, and it is downright lonely. What you are feeling is very common among our generation. See comfort in the fact that many people feel what you feel, including myself. Here is a thought I have been struggling with for a while: I am 22 years old, but I am losing my hair to the point of baldness. At my age, I feel no women would even date someone like me because of my own appearance. I keep telling myself, I'll just accept being alone for a while until I get a scalp-micropigmentation. Until then, I guess I'll just have to live with my bald self all alone.

Feeling similar? We have this nagging voice in our heads that we will never meet the one. After all, she would have shown by now right? This voice is something we have to dismiss.

 

Have had those exact same thoughts . With me at times I like being alone can do what I want at other times I have thought about a relationships the thing is its not overly difficult to get a date but a relationship is different you can go out with a women and afterword say what was I thinking she is more messed up than I can stand and move on. Having someone around who is balanced and likes you as you are makes it SO MUCH EASIER to start and stay in a relationship but to get to that point you have to go on dates with different women . I guess the answer to the above question is it depends on what day you catch me on

 

Hey, I'm curious as to how you have been fighting urges considering you have been on nofap for about 250 days?

 

I understand exactly how you feel. Last year around this time I thought if I succeeded in NoFap I would be able to get a girlfriend. But I didn't and that plus a whole lot of changes in my life lead me to a continuous stream of relapses. Even rn I just held off a massive urge. I had reached around 200+ days just like you, before everything started falling apart.

Now, I feel I am getting back on track. The reason is I changed my thinking. I realised that I've been feeling such jealously and anger every time I saw a girl and boy together, even just talking. When I noticed this, I also realised that this is definitely something that I needed to fix about me. I kept feeling that my life is incomplete without a woman in it. But the truth is that I have a good life. And it wouldn't necessarily be better if I had a girlfriend. In fact the wrong woman could ruin my life (something like that actually contributed to my initial first relapse after reboot). So what's the answer?

Well, the best person to make your life better is you and your attitude. And yes, a partner CAN make your life better, but here's the thing, the better your life, the better a girl has to be to actually be a positive contributor. So, like Steve Jobs said, don't settle. Someone as awesome as you needs someone just as awesome. And sure, maybe a relationship with a girl who isn't right or good enough for you can be fun, but is it worth the overwhelming downsides? In this situation, isn't it the same as choosing between watching porn and living your life? I think you know the answer better than me, PMO isn't worth that fleeting high of dopamine. A bad relationship isn't worth the havoc it wrecks on your life. And a WHOLE lot of people are in bad relationships all the time. Why do you think 50% of marriages end in divorces?

I don't know what your age is, but even if you are in your 30s it doesn't mean that you won't ever get a girl. We guys don't hit our peak till like our 40-50s. And if your're stupid successful (not necessarily rich) you can get a young gal in her 20s even if you're 60. That's cause women don't care about appearances so much as they do how capable you are in life. And the smarter women tend to go for older guys, cause they're more capable. So maybe you've not gotten a girl you deserve to be with, cause the ones who are at your level want someone older. Point is, you still have a chance.

But don't sit around waiting for a girl. Don't do that. Accept that you might never get a girl. Think about it. What's the worst that could happen? Is it really that bad? Rather than living a life with a girlfriend shaped hole, live one where you are solely responsible for keeping yourself happy. Surround yourself with friends, and do something meaningful. Life isn't short, it's pretty long. So settle in and keep on living.

 

That's it? How long do you stay outside for anyway? When do you know if it is time to go back?

 

If you ask me i dont think is hard to get in a relationship. Its actually easy being a person around 230 days (Btw very commendable) .You should have confidence and I know a million people already said this but using the confidence you could be able to just go random people and just strike up a conversation thats what I do. Im not saying you would be able to find a soul mate but you make a lot of friends in the process and who knows you WOULD find the girl of your dreams. I know some people would shrug you off and trust me it feels bad but having the feeling of finding the right person would 10000000x better trust me .

 

@Bread1 how do you know that it'll be better? You don't. So stop chasing some magical all-in-one solution to your problem. There is no magical solution.
Also you keep talking about @sfmark12 's streak like it's an indictor of how successful he is. Trust me, it's not. I used to have a 200+ streak and now I don't. But the me now is wiser than the me then. Streaks don't matter Every day is a challenge, whether you're at day 1 or day 200. You've to stand up and keep fighting no matter how many times you fall, and you'll be stronger for it.

 

i understand you guys, same feelings