Are you a girl? Bye

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by bboyownz, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. bboyownz

    bboyownz Fapstronaut

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    So I was in an online chat room with some people. I messaged this person I thought might be a girl. She asks me, why do I ask. I reply saying "because I like girls." She replies saying, "bye." Then blocks me. Explain this logic? Shit like this is why I PMO'd. I would get depressed because any single attempt I make would get rejected without reason.
     
  2. bboyownz

    bboyownz Fapstronaut

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    Also, this is a reason honestly ... why I think a lot of guys contemplate going gay.
     
  3. kattskagg

    kattskagg Fapstronaut

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    Get used to being rejected. Most girls get tons of messages from guys every day so you need to stand out, be special and interesting, not just say you like girls, who doesn't?


    Kattskägg
     
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  4. bboyownz

    bboyownz Fapstronaut

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    Yeah but why would that require them to block me?
     
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  5. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    May be you should consider avoiding chat rooms. In a real life conversation you wouldn't have to deal with stuff like that. May be the girl just wasn't out to look for a guy online; may be she is just tired of such requests. May be she judged you as someone who looks for girls online because he is too insecure to approach them in the real world. There are many weird people in the internet. Anyway, move on from her. You obviously don't even know how she looks, and even less an idea you have of her personality I suppose. If you look for girls online, do it on dating sites only, but even in that case success is not guaranteed.

    Because she knew that nothing good could come from an interaction that starts like this.
     
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  6. It might not even have been a girl!
     
  7. kattskagg

    kattskagg Fapstronaut

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    Sadly there are many guys who keep on texting even if the girl doesn't show interest or even say bye. I agree with the poster above, don't talk to girls online, at least not until you're rebooted. Wish you luck man! :)
     
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  8. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    I have a feeling you are not showing the whole picture of what the exchange was like or the context of it.
    The brutal truth? "Shit like this" is called reality. Porn is not reality, that is why it was so attractive. All the girls had perfect tits and bleached assholes and all wanted to suck your dick, but it wasn't real. Reality is more complex, has more moving parts, is more difficult, and is more fulfilling. In reality, not every girl wants or deserves to be with you. It sucks to hear, but it's true! In reality, people can block you for a million different reasons, the vast majority of which have nothing to do with you. The most likely scenario is that she was tired of getting hit on in chat rooms (the shit women have to put up with online is ruhdikilus!), but could just as likely be pretty much anything else because you do not actually know. That last part is of critical importance, because to say anything about why she blocked you is to put words in her mouth, which is not fair, leads to self-fulfilling prophecies, and actually tells more about you and your attitudes toward people than anything about her.
    This is all-or-nothing thinking, and is therefore not valid. You are also setting yourself up for a self-fulfilling prophecy again: you are expecting to be rejected, which both makes it much, much more likely to happen again, and you are setting yourself up so that when that happens, you can say, "See?! All women are bitches and reject me!" and so justify your anger towards them.

    Trouble is, it's all bullshit.

    Women are not all bitches, they do not all want to get with you, all of this is predicated on facts that you made up about why she blocked you, and you do not have to be bitter about this, you actually have a choice in how you react and how you feel right now. Rejection does not feel good, and I am sorry you got rejected by this girl. It can actually end there, without rage quitting any chatrooms or railing against the evils of womankind, and you can take this experience and learn from it. Ask yourself some of the following questions: How did I approach her? How might that sound from a stranger? What kinds of things do women have to deal with online and in daily life? What kind of impact does that have on their lives? What would be a better way to approach someone? How did someone I know in a successful relationship come to be in that relationship? What makes for a successful relationship? How do I embody more of those characteristics (read: how do I become someone people WANT to date, and how do I become more like the person I want to date)? ...there are so many good questions you can ask yourself because of this situation.

    I wish you luck, man. Keep learning, keep trying.
     
  9. bboyownz

    bboyownz Fapstronaut

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    Men don't block people, women do.
    Being messaged and given attention and given free shit is so hard. I actually have to work for a living. I am not privileged.

    I grew up with literally no one in my family. Everyone is either dead, or just useless.

    When I ask people: Where should I go to meet someone... all I hear is "Go to a bar"

    1. I don't drink
    2. I don't think the people there would satisfy my tastes/interests
    3. Do most people just find their relationships through college or friends?
    4. If the above is true, I have no friends who will do this for me, and not because they won't... it's because they are also having this same issue. Second, I can't afford college.
     
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  10. kattskagg

    kattskagg Fapstronaut

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    No you're not privileged, being woman has its benefits as well but attention from irritating and disrespectful men is not one of them. (Not saying you're one of them but you sound really bitter) And sadly, all men is labeled as jerks by many girls until proven otherwise, not saying this kind of sexism is right but can't blame them either. My only recommendation for you is to stop think about girls for now and focus on yourself and what you want in life, aside from meeting a girl. That's what I'm trying to do, not easy by any means.


    Kattskägg
     
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  11. jest

    jest Fapstronaut

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    Haha, I used to get angry when I'd message girls online with clever humourous jokes but they wouldn't get them.

    People online are mostly lonely losers, I know because I am one and I've met hundreds of them over the years. I've learned that there's no point in ever trying to look for friends or whatever, just let things happen. I'm now fine with being lonely, it gives me time to improve myself for my own sake and approval.

    Point being, don't chase people, not online and not IRL, if you force something it always ends in disaster.
     
  12. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hey I'm online and I'm not...oh wait. Yeah, yeah this tracks. :p
     
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  13. JohnnyReid

    JohnnyReid Fapstronaut

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    Mic drop or something might be good right about now.. awesome post, @The Wrestler

    Don't take any rejection personally OP, and try not to label all women. They're human beings, just like us. Same emotions, same fears, same dreams. Like Wrestler said, keep learning, keep trying man! All the encouragement and support to you.
     
  14. I was thinking the same!!!
     
  15. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Me too. Only few days ago I got a weird Whatsapp message by an account named Nicole who told me she found me attractive. When I asked her how she got my number, she told me she found it... and I was like "yeah, for sure". I then told her that I don't even know if she's a fat, sweating dude in his mid-fifties who wants to have my bank account details. Thankfully I got no further reply.
     
  16. Scam
     
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  17. I swear it wasn't me @Headspace! :D
     
  18. She was being rude, but maybe she was sick of guys coming on to her in the chat room. Maybe she just wanted to chat about stuff. When you said "because I like girls", she probably thought "another of those guys". Maybe you just wanted to chat innocently with a girl, but she decided you were some horny guy trying to get off.

    I remember joining a chat room once, and I accidentally checked the "female" box in my profile, if you get me. Well, I was absolutely bombarded with messages from guys. Then I realised the problem and changed it to "male". Private messages of any kind became considerably less common then.

    And basically, stay out of chat rooms if you have a PMO problem. It can make things a lot worse. Speaking from experience here.
     
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  19. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    Hahaha, don't worry :D And of course this wasn't meant to be insulting or offensive to older or corpulent people in any way. It just arose out of the situation; it felt so good to tell this to this sexy-talking (wo-)man. But I'm glad you take it with humor my beloved friend :)
     
  20. ID1214

    ID1214 Fapstronaut

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    Did you know the girl?

    I'm a guy, but if someone contacted me and said it's because they liked guys, they would be blocked. Fast.

    It's a very creepy starting line.

    Avoid chat rooms, anyway. People in chat rooms are usually horny and only care about sex. The best way to meet people is still the old fashioned way. Go visit your neighbours, go talk to a girl at your workplace or school
     

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