Been a long time coming

My problems go way, way back. I was introduced to porn a lot earlier than what anyone should. My mind was easily corrupted and I've consistently poisoned my brain ever since. I have never had any problems getting girls, but once I joined the Army and placed in a remote area, the problems started. I still tried to abstain from masturbation because I've always associated it with the feeling I got afterwards. But being in the Army it was difficult, and stupid as I was I would still watch porn. As you can imagine, this was not a healthy time for me. Anyways, fast forward a couple of years and my gf gets tired of me cheating on her. I was a chronic cheater, always looking for something similar to the porn stars. When she dumped me it was like hitting a brick wall. I had to do something. I had to change.

So a new era started. I am now PM-free and living healthy. But because of the deep scarring from my addiction, I sometimes experience feelings of disgust. It is like I am a completely new person, but I am in the same body. So I ask myself: Why the hell would you do this to yourself? It is an interesting experience. Obviously life is really good right now, and I'm happy with these recent life-changing choices, but at the same time it is like I have been walking around with blindfolds for so many years.

Never been much of a writer or a grammar-genius, but I gave it a shot.

Thanks for reading! I wish you all the best.

TL;DR: I am healthy, on track, not likely to relapse. But still disgusted with myself, and wishing I would make this decision earlier.