Been here over a month/time to get serious

Welcome to NoFap!

Here are some suggestions concerning M:

1. Masturbation... do not keep your hands to yourself. Unless you are bathing, changing your underwear or actually using the bathroom, your hands should be nowhere near your penis. YOU ARE BANNED FROM TOUCHING YOUR PENIS FOR RECREATION!!!
2. Your bed is limited to only the time you are sleeping. No laying in bed other than that. As soon you awake, you should get out of bed. Can't sleep, if awake for more than a few minutes, get out of bed until you are sleepy enough to go to sleep.
3. Keep doors open unless necessary. You need to be isolated as little as possible. You're less likely to M when people can see you.
4. Keep curtains and blinds open as much as possible. Similar reason as above and also allows light inside. Many time M'ing is more likely in dark places.
5. At night, keep lights on as often as possible. Similar to above, lights on may lessen your desire to fap.
6. If you are a naked sleeper or a boxer sleeper, consider sleeping in a in jockstrap, cup or briefs or compression shorts, something more constrictive so that you are less likely to feel movement while falling asleep or when awaking. They may provide a better barrier to prevent those that subconsciously reach for their penis at night or in the morning. They may also be a visual barrier for those that have morning erections too irresistible to not touch.
   
7. Begin a journal so that others can encourage you and connect with you.
8. Become active in this community. The more active you are, the less time you will spend focused on you. The less time focused solely on you, the faster time goes. There is an old saying, "a watched pot of water doesn't boil any faster", which means for this example, focusing solely on yourself and your issues won't make them go away sooner. It's OK to track progress but when spending more time doing other things that were once important to you and encouraging others, you will notice the time of your sobriety will go so much faster than if you didn't.

This a journey. Unless you began your addiction yesterday, don't expect to have complete victory by tomorrow. It takes time. We are here for you for as long as it takes.

 

Forgive me! I totally missed that and obviously defaulted to male oriented advice.

 

Congrats on the 40 days Bre! That's awesome you're making that connection about the danger of Psubs. That's a really good sign of your progress. In the very beginning of reboot, it's pretty easy to think that Psubs are a "safe" alternative to P. I think you'll find that as you continue to progress with reboot, abstaining from Psubs will get easier. Since you aren't M-ing, there's no reason to be viewing Psubs and taking in unnecessary sexual stimulus. If you are unwavering in your abstinence from M, the P and Psubs will naturally sort of fall to the wayside. Time is your biggest ally, so just stay the course and the days will build up and dilute the stronghold P and Psubs have had on you.
Proud of you!

 

Ahhh ok. That's pretty much how I was initially. I didn't know about NoFap, I was just doing trial and error experiments on my own. I knew that the P and cybersex were doing a number on me, so first I abstained from those a bit and noticed decent improvements. But since I was still M-ing, I kept falling back to Psubs to make the M better, which always led me back to P after some time. Once I decided to stop M as an experiment, it all started to make sense.

I know it sounds fucking crazy to stop M-ing. But believe me, you will be healthier and happier without it. Obviously I only have my own experience as evidence, and everyone is different. I went from thinking of M as a completely necessary bodily function/maintenance, to thinking of it as a poor coping/soothing habit like biting your fingernails, cracking your knuckles, sucking your thumb or having an imaginary friend. The shift in my thinking only happened because I abstained during reboot and learned firsthand M is not at all necessary.

Just food for thought. You are doing great!

 

Have you ever visited the Women in Reboot forum?

 

Quitting P can be easier than quitting M because one can always use mental images for P and one always has the means to M, there are P blockers but how can one have an M blocker when all one needs is a hand to do it.