Hello. For last 2 months maybe me and my girl - we argue over everything! I'm no simp and there are times when I just know it's NOT my fault. I'm no dumbass to see the whole situation from a side. I understand that I'm responsible for like 80% of arguments. My girl isn't one of those chicks who won't tell if she's having a bad mood. If she has a bad mood she let's me know. So yeah - it's not like she always puts a blame on me, but I just know that my fucking ego or whatever that shit is - ruins a lot of things. I grew up with my parents. My sister and brother were already grown up when I was born so no sharing, no caring. I was used to be alone and get all that attention. As a kid I was told I'm smart. Like really smart and if I'd try bit harder I'd be a president of the school, I'd have the highest grades etc. But instead of staying humble and working towards those things (even though they don't mean shit to me) I just got myself a big ego. My mom loves me but tends to say that I can be really an asshole sometimes, I've heard it from my sister, from teachers and some buddies of mine. So what do I do? I don't want to lose my gf because of my fucking ego! I'm constantly trying to calm down and be more humble. And not just for her, no. I do it first of all for myself so MY life isn't ruined. But of course I care about my mom, friends, girl seeing the best of me. Sure I will fail, sure I won't be perfect - I don't even need that! But I just have to get that mean idiot out of me. I actually love myself more than before yet... I'm messing up a lot. I'm not making a big deal out of it cause I know it all can be changed and I can change for the better it's just that I need some directions from people with similar experiences in life. What do I do to become more of a bearable dude? How do I become genuinely friendier and overall humbler guy? Please help.
Any battle with a girl it's almost a lost cause, if there is something in her behaviour that is not right or she always makes the same mistakes you can't change it that is who she is, logic with women and especially in a relationship don't go well, women are emotional and their ego's don't change if she has some flaws in her character they will stay there, no matter what. Taking this into account you simply have to let go misunderstandings with women unless it's something extremely serious or disrespectful, women are not like men. Don't get angry for things that logically are wrong but she is doing, you are simply getting tired and you win nothing by being right. Also discussions with women are more in the field of emotions and you lose to a woman when you get angry, never show you are angry then you lose even if you win the argument in a logical fashion. Women love to see a man angry, don't give her that.
I'm definitely not a relationship professional, so take this with a grain of salt. Looking back into my past 2 relationships, I was also an asshole, too. I just got too complacent with them, and didn't really try to work on my relationships. I treated them more like a friend rather than a girlfriend. So, here is my advice: Although you may feel like you put enough effort into your relationships, you probably dont. If you truly are IN love with (meaning you don't just love her like you would a friend) and want to be with her and not lose her, you need to put the work in to better yourself. Think before you speak, and if anything comes out the wrong way, immediately correct yourself and apologize to them. You aren't weak for apologizing. I try to be a nice dude, but I'm kinda monotone and the way I say things can come across rude and like I have an attitude. If I notice I'm being that way, I apologize. Take some time to do stuff you actually want to do and enjoy doing. Go spend some time outdoors. Go fishing or kayak on a lake or down a creek more often. Just find some time throughout the week and turn off your computer/video games/phone, and spend time focusing on yourself and setting goals for yourself. Make sure you are eating better, too and not always feeling tired. Good nutrition can help you all around. You will never regret eating your favorite fruit instead of a bag of chips. I would check out some podcasts and see if you can find any self-improvement books. A good Podcast/Show on YouTube I would recommend is The Dr. John Delony Show. I listen to it on the way to work sometimes. He typically gives relationship advice, and I think everyone could take his advice and apply it to their own lives and relationships.
