Convinced I am going to be arrested for web chatting

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by wanttochange123, Jul 9, 2019.

  1. wanttochange123

    wanttochange123 Fapstronaut

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    Hi all

    I am new to this site and am going through all the steps in the guidelines for recovery. So far I'm 2 days in. My main driver for coming here was to put an end to my porn and cam chat addiction.

    Im in an incredible anxious state, mainly due to absolutely convincing myself I am going to be arrested because of the amount of time I spent on Omegle and other cam chat sites and how out of control I was. I can't actually remember what I was doing its all just a grey haze but I exposed myself 100s of times. My wife and family have no idea, and if I them her about this everything will be over. I can barely eat and just want to go to sleep.

    Maybe I cam completely blowing things out of proportion but I just wanted to share this extreme thought process with someone. Its sending me into a downwards spiral of shame and guilt which I can't get out of. I need to get ahold of it because its already affecting my work and personal life. My head is fuzzy and I'm just staring into the distance. My first inclination is to PMO - which I am holding back from.
     
    PeterJL likes this.
  2. Check my posts, ive also had lots of shame and guilt for similar reasons.
    But calm down, what did you do?

    As long as you didnt sex chat with kids or such theres nothing really to be worried about, just dont repeat it and I think you should tell your wife maybe
     
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    Dude you are not going to jail for being a sex chat addict, unless they were children.
     
    Ajikan likes this.
  4. Flyhigh

    Flyhigh Fapstronaut

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  5. Mistakesweremade

    Mistakesweremade Fapstronaut

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    The thing is sites like Omegle often have children on them even thou the rules do not permit it. (I think, not sure...) Never used it myself but I've seen videos on youtube.
     
  6. CactusTree

    CactusTree New Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like you’ve probably got some OCD as well as anxiety. You seem to have convinced yourself you’re going to be arrested .... ask yourself.... where is the evidence?

    Unless you’ve been chatting to minors or anything along those lines I don’t see a problem. Think about it dude, cam girls do the same thing, the only difference is you’re a Male
     
  7. wanttochange123

    wanttochange123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reassurance guys. I'm not aware I did anything with anyone underage - I would always ask age of people I was speaking to and disconnect if they were underage. I'm probably just blowing this completely out of proportion. By joining this site I have moved on now and committed I will never go on any video chat site ever again.

    What are peoples advice about telling other halves? what I've been doing is so out of proportion compared to the rest of my life that is going so so well that it could literally ruin me if it came out.
     
  8. I'll PM you in a couple of hours when i have time to do it, I was honest to my SO about similar things i did.
    She is understanding and its all fine again.

    I was 22ish so it might be more forgiving in my age, but ill tell you about how I got through it :)
     
  9. Filta

    Filta Fapstronaut

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    I told my wife about my dodgy activities. I couldn't not tell her as I was in such a state like you have been. I was sick every morning for a week. Then I relapsed again, then I was sick again. All in all it was a horrible time for me and her.

    BUT - I am really pleased I told her. It has made us stronger as a couple. In my opinion, if you think she can take it, you should talk to her - it will help both of you if you are honest as don't forget that she will know something is wrong.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  10. Zimzi

    Zimzi Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn’t tell my wife I was cam chatting and exposing self to people. Stopping is best idea. Cuz imagine if she said she was doing same. Some things defs better unsaid. Bad Pandora’s box
     
  11. liveclean

    liveclean Fapstronaut

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    How is anyone going to know it's you? Did you you show your face or give your name? Even if you did it probably doesn't matter. No one cares. There are so many other people doing it the police aren't specifically going to come after you. What have you actually done that's illegal? If people don't want to see it they don't have to watch.
     
  12. The Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger Fapstronaut

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    If you decide that telling your SO is the best idea I would recommend you just wait for a couple of days or so, just taking care of yourself first, focus on you. Get your head out the water and take a few deep breaths.

    Take care of yourself mate, you are, as from now, on the right path
     
  13. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    It can ruin you if it doesn't come out.
    Obviously, I don't know your wife, so I can't speak for her. But my wife was understanding and supportive when I told her about my cam habit.
    I saw some research that says the number one factor in whether or not affairs lead to divorce is whether or not the guilty party came forward.
     
  14. PeterJL

    PeterJL Fapstronaut

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    "It's not the fact that you kissed her yesterday, it's the feeling of betrayal that you just can't seem to shake"
    Can we make "Be Alright" the official song of NoFap? Pretty much every line is spot on.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. James02

    James02 Fapstronaut

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    @wanttochange123 Before you disclose anything to loved ones, don't do anything without the counsel/direction of a certified sexual addiction therapist, b/c they can help counsel your loved ones with any PTSD they will likely encounter. But that's a huge leap, don't sweat that, for now, just take the next best step. First, find a web blocker for yourself. Msg me if you need guidance there. Another idea, purchase a book on the subject, so you can get informed. Baby steps.
     
  16. wanttochange123

    wanttochange123 Fapstronaut

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    Guys I just want to say I’m so grateful for finding this forum. It’s been like a revelation for me in the last few days reading through all the posts and experiences. Things are starting to make sense - the level of my addiction to PMO has never been clear to me until the last few days. I have been addicted since I was 16, in fact I was doing it way before 16 but it was only when I found P that it started in earnest.

    PMO contributed to most of my failed relationships when I was younger - impatience with sex, objectification, frustration, temper.

    PMO drove me to some potential dangerous places (including recently). For example, I used to download P on public university networks in public places which could have meant I wasn’t kicked out.

    PMO has put my family and relationship at risk, with grave repercussions for me in the present.

    PMO wasted 10s of thousands of my earnings in webcams, contributing to debt and falling back in life opportunities.

    PMO is the thing over never let go of. I beat gambling addiction - over 12 years I nearly drove myself to suicide. In the midst of this I was still PMO.

    Things are becoming clear.

    I am seeing an addict/psychologist specialist tomorrow for the first time to finally open up to someone expert about my past and this problem, and to explore the root cause of it.
     
    James02 and Deleted Account like this.
  17. James02

    James02 Fapstronaut

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    @wanttochange123 Great steps my man. You are at the right place. Stay close to the forum for support. You have taken brave steps.
     

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