Couples on the Street

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Darkstar 22.84, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Hello Everyone

    Ever so often, going to work, I see them.
    Holding hands, walking side by side, perfect image of union, of serenity.

    Why don't I have that? What's so hard about keeping that person close by?

    Usually, it doesn't bother me (especially during Reboot, when I experience feelings of optimism and love-towards-all-humans) but nowadays, beggining of a new Streak, it kinda... sorta... pisses me off.

    I used to have a HUGE issue with couples showing their affection in public.
    Now I just... take them as they walk by.

    Acting all smug and self-sufficient.

    It seems like a couple is a army of TWO . And if you don't have that special someone next to you, you feel left out of this strange, awesome, ultra-special Club where people aren't alone anymore.

    How do you guys cope with it?
    That's the hardest part of being single, for me.
     
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  2. tacoflower

    tacoflower Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same way. It's like I see couples and wonder what the hell is wrong with me. I know I shouldn't think this way, but I can't help but feel that there must be something wrong with me as a person if I can't find someone to be mutually attracted to.

    In general, intimate relationships are all about mating and prolonging the human species. If I can't find someone, I feel as though I'm unworthy to pass on my DNA to another generation through having kids with a woman I love.
     
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  3. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    I think it has more to do with us feeling the pressure of society than with couples being the norm.
    There single girls out there, who feel just like we do.

    Now, if I was rich, I would build this bar where single people can go for a drink and then, instantly get together for a chat (no obligations here).
    Kinda like this:



    They won't feel threatened, as the bar doesn't impose rules on them.
    Like society or parents so often do.

    Just meet that person and chat. Simple.
     
    kevinkevin19 likes this.
  4. Kyoheix

    Kyoheix Fapstronaut

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    I don't actively dislike seeing couples in public as long as they are not being disgusting like nearly having sex right there.

    I think that having a partner comes with it's own problems so it is not something that I want to put myself through right now when MY life is far from perfect. What you see as a happy moment can be a dish-breaking argument as soon as they get home. Just don't compare your life with what you see out there and don't believe movies and what you see in soap operas on TV.

    The TV series "Friends", never happened IRL AFAIK.
     
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  5. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Well, missing sex is a big part of my Reboot. Just looking at couples makes me remember
    'I had that sometime in my life' and I just feel the anger seething inside so I need to go home and fap.

    But then, I realize that's the addiction talking and I stop.
    It's like a tennis match between envy-despair and somewhere in-between, lies me, trying to get this under control.
     
  6. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    not only couples but even if see a group of friends on the street i get jealous.
     
  7. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    I've heard the saying, "When you're single, you see happy couples everywhere, and when you're in a relationship, all you see are happy singles".

    I, too, fall into the trap of seeing an intimate couple and feeling instant jealousy. However, it's all a matter of perspective. We sometimes get into the habit of seeing other people, and thinking that they all have exactly the life that they want, and ignore the fact that they probably have their own struggles that they're dealing with. In fact, some of these people probably see you, and think, "gosh, if only...".

    Remembering this helps me with my own self-esteem.

    As for the jealousy that I feel, what I try and do is, instead of feeling jealous, I think, "Eh, good for them. They each have somebody to lean on. They've found happiness in each other".
     
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  8. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    @scote73

    And whom to we lean on, mate?
    Ourselves?

    This isn't right. It's not right that some A-hole gets to have a girlfriend and beats her and treats her like shit while I'm here, alone, beating on my junk.
    This is not justice.
     
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  9. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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  10. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut


    I understand your point. We all need somebody to lean on. It's human nature.

    To answer your question, I'm not sure if you have a circle of friends or not, or if you have supportive parents/family, but these are the people you have to lean on. If your absent of these people as well, you have us, here.

    If we aren't doing enough for you, well, then you kinda have to lean on yourself. You will always know what's best for you, you will always be your own best friend.

    Even so, if you're ever feeling lonely, or down, PM me or someone else on this forum. Many people here are willing to lend an ear.

    Not all guys who have a girl are A-holes. Sure, some of them are, but not all of them. What needs to be understood is, most girls will go for guys who are comfortable with just being themselves, and one thing that "A-holes" have going for them is that they are very good at being comfortable with being themselves, unfortunately.

    Patience is key, however. You may feel that you're running out of time, but you're not. Be kind to everyone, show off your interests and skills, open your mind, and people will gravitate toward you.

    Seriously though, PM me if you wanna talk more in depth. I'd be happy to.
     
  11. scote73

    scote73 Fapstronaut

    By the way, had a good laugh with your Futurama post. It's exactly how I feel walking through public sometimes lol.
     
  12. kevinkevin19

    kevinkevin19 Fapstronaut

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    I used to be jealous every time I see them, but now, not so much. I've once talked to my girl classmate and she mentioned her boyfriend, then I said I to not talk about him because I might get jealous. She surprisingly said "Are you serious? Don't get jealous! Honestly, I'm not really happy myself because we fight and argue almost all of the time."

    That made me realize that there are also disadvantages of being in a relationship and being in a relationship will not automatically make you happy. There is such a thing as being in a wrong relationship and being in a right relationship but at a wrong time. For now I choose to be single. Maybe in a few years when I achieve some of my goals, then I will enter into a relationship when I'm ready. I feel like when I get into one right now, I might just be in it for fun and just waste my time and hurt the girl I'm with.
     
  13. Darkstar 22.84

    Darkstar 22.84 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that sound nice and dandy, but it's also an excuse to not get yourself out there.
    You might risk getting hurt or rejected.

    I can tell a difference between a good relationship & bad relationship.
    For example, a good relationship is something I never experienced in my life.
     
  14. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Before I give my thoughts, let me highlight:

    I've never been married, never been in a serious relationship; I'm single and 53. I don't expect to marry. I have made my peace with that and I have a good life.

    I remember the feelings of envy and sadness that Darkstar describes. All I can say is, that whether you ever have "someone else" or not, I think it behooves you to make peace with being single. Not "alone" -- it's a rare person who really "has to be" alone.

    Learn to enjoy life as a single person. Instead of sitting at home, thinking, "I would go out if only someone called me," you make a call; or, just go out--alone!

    I go out alone all the time. I have travelled all over the world alone. I cook alone. I live alone. In saying that, I don't mean to suggest that I prefer it. I don't; I prefer to have company. I invite people over. I plan to go out with friends, as I will this weekend. But I don't let whether someone is with me or not determine whether I will do what I like, and have a good time.

    When I go to restaurants, I usually sit at the bar. Either I strike up a conversation with someone, or I watch TV, or I read something I brought along. Sitting with the bartender often works well; the bartender, if not too busy, likes company too; and if you become a regular, s/he will take care of you.

    But sitting at the table is fine, too. Bring something to read; lots of places have free wifi.

    Making peace with oneself is both the best way to go if, indeed, we never end up having a partner. But I also think it can only help make us more likely to gain one.
     
  15. numpty

    numpty Fapstronaut

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    I used to be like awww wish that was me

    But I come to realise relationships are not all that they seem sometimes.

    Pay close attention next time when you're buying something and the couple next to you.. The guy will almost certainly pull oout his wallet and pay for the girl.... where's equality?

    Or next time you see a couple see how the woman will eye another man up - people may consider this to be the norm but this is how affairs start... this could be combined with the above example...

    I'm not saying that all relationships are bad, but there is a lot of shit out there
     
  16. BlackZtype

    BlackZtype Fapstronaut

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    Read through all the replies above, learned something from you guys and a little bit surprisingly know that I'm not the only one who has such issue.
     
  17. BlackZtype

    BlackZtype Fapstronaut

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    22 years old, never had a girlfriend, never touched a girl's hand ever. I would become very nervous if I had a eye contact with pretty girls. sometimes I just sit alone and think by myself how pathetic I am, this has makes me feel frustrated so many times, which feels like nobody can understand that emotion. Now, after all the suffering I put on my shoulder, I have learned to accept it, the fact, which I have to.
     
  18. diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    NO! Get the fuck up and do something about it. Study "game," work on yourself, get in shape, travel, become a badass that isn't pathetic. GET UP! Don't accept shit. Make your own destiny.
     
  19. BlackZtype

    BlackZtype Fapstronaut

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    I don't accept shit, I just see it in a different way now. Since I realized the reality I face, I see what I can do, what I can't. I'm more rational than I was before. I am really appreciate you trying to encourage me, I do.
     
  20. BlackZtype

    BlackZtype Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad to hear you say that, now I know that somebody on this earth is going through the same situation like me.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2015

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