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Dates with PIED

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by RevFlav100, Sep 19, 2018.

  1. Sep 19, 2018 #1
    RevFlav100

    RevFlav100 Fapstronaut

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    I have PIED and I my second date with a woman that really likes me. We kissed passionately during the first date and she felt me up a bit and I didn't get hard. It seems like tonight is the night she will try to get me to go all the way. I think it's safe to say I'm not quite ready to go and I am still rebooting. I haven't had sex in a very long time due to this condition and I am thinking of ways to keep the dates going without telling her my issues and hoping she understands or by trying sex at the very high risk of failure. But maybe there is no other way but these two options. Any tips? I would greatly appreciate it.
     
    RevFlav100, Sep 19, 2018
    RevFlav100, Sep 19, 2018
    #1
  2. Sep 20, 2018 #2
    GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    You need to be honest with her. How long have you been pmo free? If you are honest and she freaks out and runs it’s for the best. At least you know early on she’s not the right one and you can move on. But often addicts are surprised how accepting women are and understanding. The key here is honesty.

    As an aside it’s not really a good idea to date during early reboot. Dating creates lots of stress and rejection and can trigger reboot. Let yourself heal.
     
    GG2002, Sep 20, 2018
    GG2002, Sep 20, 2018
    #2
    Burrich1 likes this.
  3. Sep 20, 2018 #3
    Burrich1

    Burrich1 Fapstronaut

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    I completely agree with @GG2002. Have a frank discussion about your addiction to porn and what you are doing to combat that addiction. If she runs, she probably isn’t the right girl for you. If you have a long term relationship with her, you are probably going to tell her about it anyway. Maybe sharing something that intimate about yourself will just bring you guys closer together. Maybe she will want to be a part of your recovery. Worst case scenario, she runs, but I’m not sure that would be all bad.
     
    Burrich1, Sep 20, 2018
    Burrich1, Sep 20, 2018
    #3
    GG2002 likes this.
  4. Sep 20, 2018 #4
    GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Right some women either can’t or just don’t want to deal with a pmo addiction or any addiction for that matter and that’s okay. You would be surprised to hear that many of us women that were deceived by our addicts say if we were told the truth early on in the relationship we would have not run but stayed. I would have. It’s the lying that caused damage to the relationship. As the saying goes if you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best. Point being she has a right to know the truth and make her own decisions. And you have the right your know if she’s up for the challenge. Everyone has their demons and downfalls I’m sure she does too. It’s all about being honest and confident in who you are. If you are not thetsure yet the best thing to do is take some time off from dating and work on yourself.
     
    GG2002, Sep 20, 2018
    GG2002, Sep 20, 2018
    #4
    Burrich1 likes this.
  5. Sep 20, 2018 #5
    phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    i don't think there is a point in dating when you have pied: you will not enjoy the date being scared by sex and she also can live a bad experience, having a partner that can't get erect with her.

    you should have a 80-90 days streak before date a woman, that amount of time is enough to gain sexual power.
     
    phwrancesco, Sep 20, 2018
    phwrancesco, Sep 20, 2018
    #5
    cgr002 and GG2002 like this.
  6. Sep 20, 2018 #6
    RevFlav100

    RevFlav100 Fapstronaut

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    i disagree. I enjoyed the date. I enjoy being in a woman's company to help me rewire. We had a nice dinner, went to the movie and cuddled. I smelled her hair and felt the touch of her skin as we held hands. We made out in the car afterward. All of this helps rewiring and being in a woman's company, even if it is somewhat anxiety-provoking, is better than being totally alone wondering how far along in your reboot you are.
     
    RevFlav100, Sep 20, 2018
    RevFlav100, Sep 20, 2018
    #6
  7. Sep 20, 2018 #7
    RevFlav100

    RevFlav100 Fapstronaut

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    I have been rebooting since the beginning of this year, so I'm not that early. Even though I haven't landed a gf yet, I'm happier dating than not because I at least know how women are responding to me given that I'm a bit insecure at the moment. It gives me good input and helps me know what to do differently, if that makes sense.
     
    RevFlav100, Sep 20, 2018
    RevFlav100, Sep 20, 2018
    #7

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