In a little more than an hour, I will have finished Day 145 of hard mode. I never, ever believed that I could make it this far. (If you are reading this and you feel hopeless, let me remind you that you are far stronger than you think you can be.) Most of my posts on NoFap have been about mental and emotional victories (and challenges) during my reboot. Tonight, however, I want to share a physical victory that I have not yet been able to take advantage of but that gives me great hope. Something seems to have changed for me physically... In the first 74 days of my streak, I had no wet dreams. In the last 71 days, I have had 5, which seem to occur with increasing frequency. I'm not sure what this means, but I have a feeling that it's a sign of recovery. The more important physical change is even more promising. Recently, I have had the hardest morning erections that I have ever had in my life. I have not masturbated or edged or anything, but just going to the bathroom in the morning I can tell that I have never, ever had erections as hard as this (including, unfortunately, during sex---I had been using porn for years before I lost my virginity). I used to wonder during sex why even when I had an erection it didn't quite feel "hard enough." I'm realizing now, as I'm sure so many NoFappers have before me, that it didn't feel hard enough BECAUSE IT WASN'T HARD ENOUGH! I'm hopeful that as I continue recovering I'll be able to put my new, rock-solid erections to good use in real, intimate sex!
